I’m Too Bored For Just One Night

Well…my way behind behind finally made it to Wrestlemania. I thought about dusting off the notepad for the occasion, but I’m glad I didn’t. There’s only so many times and so many ways I would have been able to say nice try, but meh.

These empty building shows are rough, you guys. Like really rough. As I was watching my way closer and closer to when this era was going to start, I thought hey, maybe it won’t be so bad. The way they’re going to scatter the old matches throughout the shows, I’m going to be able to get through things so much faster. I suppose technically that is what’s happening, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. If anything, they all somehow seem even longer. As bad as WWE in front of a dead crowd can be, I would give anything right now for the deadest of dead ass crowds if it meant I didn’t have to sit through any more shows with no crowd at all.

I realize that I’m at the early stages of pandemic TV/PPV and that things are constantly evolving, but it feels like AEW has so much better a handle on what to do at this point than WWE does. They’re at least trying different things to liven up the presentation. Sometimes those things work and sometimes they don’t, but WWE could benefit greatly from not being so stubborn and set in its ways. More than one compelling storyline at a time might help, too.

But even when something WWE does is interesting, it’s still not enough. I just cannot focus on these shows. I’m constantly watching wrestling while I’m doing other things, and it’s never a problem. I always take in what I need to take in. But right now, even if I go out of my way to do nothing else, I find myself repeatedly losing interest and thinking about how much fun I’m not having and how much time is still left on the god damn clock. The lack of any sort of fan interaction or excitement is only serving to magnify all of the problems with WWE’s stale presentation, so much so that quitting again has crossed my mind.

I don’t blame the wrestlers for this. They’re just doing what they’re told. They’re putting forth the best effort they can. Motivating yourself to go out and get beaten up in front of no people while pretending it’s the biggest weekend of the year can’t be easy, and I commend them all for trying so hard. It kind of makes me feel bad for not caring more.

But I don’t care, and that makes it really hard to talk about this Mania fairly. It feels like a Raw or a Smackdown or an NXT. Yes they’re telling me it’s Wrestlemania and the Wrestlemania matches are mostly happening aside from some mysterious disappearances that nobody appears to be in any sort of hurry to acknowledge (it’s ok to say Coronavirus, Vince), but when every show is basically the same and I haven’t really cared for any of them, it’s hard to suspend my disbelief and play along. Even when I know something is good, I can’t convince myself that it’s good. Please tell me that makes sense.

So instead of saying anything about the matches individually, I’ll offer this as my over all takeaway. It’s easy to look at things from the outside and say this is what I would have done. It might not even be a fair thing to do. But if it’s me and I must produce content, I’m putting the Mania matches on Raw and Smackdown this year. That’s where all the money is made now anyway, plus they would have less of a standard to live up to. There’s a lot wrong with WWE, but the Mania name still means something. Under these circumstances, this just was not a Mania.

badmouth Me And My Friends One More Time. I Dare Ya

Unless you’re seriously interested in Chicago transit and its troubles with pigeons treating parts of it the way pigeons treat pretty much everything, you’re only going to need the first minute or so of this video. That’s where the magic happens.

Talk about dumb luck during a Morning Insiders interview – near a very busy Chicago Transit Authority stop nicknamed the “pigeon poop station.” While we were shooting a follow-up story about the problems at the station, the unthinkable happened. CBS 2’s Lauren Victory was talking with a lawmaker who was fighting to fix the problem, and he fell victim to it right when the cameras were rolling.

Project Guideline: Like Guidelines, It’s a Place to Start

I’m not sure what to think of this. I think it has potential, but I am glad it’s an early prototype.
It’s called Project Guideline, and its aim is to let blind people run independently without needing a dog, a cane or a human guide.

There are good things about it, like how the app runs all on the device and doesn’t rely on an internet connection. The last thing you need when you’re running is to have your navigation aid experience lag. I also like that it advocates the use of bone-conduction headphones so your ears stay open.

Now here are the things I’m not sure of. The reason I’m not sure could be simply because I don’t understand all the details. Currently, you need a facilitator. Doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose? This is supposed to allow someone to run independently. If they need someone to set them up every time, where’s the independence? Hopefully that’s just needed because it’s in the prototype stage. Also, someone has to paint a guideline on a trail for it to work. Any time people have to wait for an organization to fund the infrastructure, I’m not sure how far-reaching the benefits will be, unless the infrastructure is being built to benefit a bigger group and this is piggybacking on it.

And how do you deal with obstacles that weren’t present when the guideline was built? I know you can still hear, but some obstacles are tricky to detect, especially if you’re focusing on following the boopboopbeeping in your ears to keep on the trail.

I’m not a runner, so maybe I’m missing something. Also, I don’t want to poop on the idea. It does have potential. The question is how do we figure out a way to get its machine learning to be so good that somebody doesn’t have to paint guidelines for it to follow and you don’t need a facilitator to come along. I hope that’s part of the plan.

I Get Rough And Tough In The Puff ‘n’ Fluff! Noooo!

That soundtrack has nothing to do with the subject matter, but it’s what enters my head whenever I think about this invention…along with the imagined distressed sounds of dogs.

I feel like a jerk making fun of an invention dreamed up by a third-grader, and maybe I can’t judge until I’ve actually laid hands on one of these, but I have so many questions.

Marissa Streng wanted to design some way to dry her dog faster when he’s wet. So, she invented the Puff and Fluff Dog Dryer. In theory, it sounds great. Before your dog shukhs all over your carpet leaving a puddle trail, dry him off quickly! But just read the description of how it works.

The Puff-N-Fluff dog dryer is made by using a rectangle piece of material with four elastic leg holes. The paws are placed through the openings, and then the sides are brought together and easily fastened by a hook & loop. Next, pull the draw strings to close the gap around the head and tail. Virtually any blow dryer can be attached to the flex-hose to let warm air circulate around your dog. The hours of waiting for your dog to fully dry is now accomplished within minutes!

So you’re basically stuffing your dog in a bag, and then blowing air in at him. A lot of dogs aren’t the biggest fans of blow dryers when they can get away. I can’t imagine confining them too. They say you easily fasten the bag together with a hook and loop. Maybe it’s easy when the bag isn’t holding in 50 pounds of wriggling angry wet dog. When it is, I doubt it’s very easy.

Does this video make it look fun?

They have the nerve to say that the experience “calms your dog.” Is it standing still because it’s soothed by the air, or is it more that the poor thing is paralyzed with fear?

I know if I had tried to do that to Trix, she would never come within several feet of me, especially if I had that torture apparatus in hand. I don’t think Shmans would tolerate it either. How rip-resistant is this bag contraption that you’re trapping your dog in? I envision much thrashing. And Trix and Shmans have been trained to tolerate all sorts of handling. I can’t even imagine your average dog putting up with this.

The Car Broke Down! What Do We Do!? I Know, Let’s Call Lyft Your Stuff

This should be your typical Master Criminals tale. Two thieves are caught in the act, they try to flee but can’t because their getaway car has other plans, but then, instead of taking off on foot, they decide to hang out and call someone else for a ride. Indeed, this ought to nestle neatly into one of our most used categories. There’s just one problem. They got away. What? How? How close was their emergency driver? How far away were these cops?

Troopers say they were called Aug. 31 to a home on Gosser Road in Jordan Township to respond to a burglary.
State police say Jeffrey Paup and Janalle Brink were removing items from the home when they were interrupted by the alleged victim’s mother.
The two then tried to leave in their car, but it wouldn’t start, so they called another person to pick them up, according to the state police report.

The police do at least have the car they left at the scene, so that’s something. If I’m them, I reach out and let these two know I have it and that they’re welcomed to swing by and pick it up whenever they’d like. I figure odds are at least 60-40 that they’d try. Or maybe I just sit back and wait for them to call about their stolen car. Either way, this can’t be a long pursuit. Right?

Why Can’t You Gift Patreon Time To A Friend?

Seriously, it’s like the most bleeding obvious thing. But here I am, thinking about what I might want to give and receive for Christmas this year, and the ability to subscribe someone else to something they would want through only like the biggest subscription platform in the world isn’t a thing I can do. And it’s not on the roadmap? Dude. Get a new roadmap. Your roadmap huffs.

You can’t tell me it wouldn’t be a simple enough thing to implement. Well, you could tell me that, but I wouldn’t be having it. I thought about it for 30 seconds and know exactly how it would work.

  1. find a creator you want to subscribe to.
  2. Select a support level.
  3. Select the give as gift option that doesn’t exist but should.
  4. Choose the number of months you want to gift.
  5. Plug in your recipient’s email address.
  6. Confirm the purchase.

Naturally, no money changes hands until the person accepts the gift. Once he does, the gifter is billed monthly for the duration of the chosen term. When it’s getting close to the end of that term, the giftee gets an email letting him know the free ride is almost over and giving him the option to keep the subscription going on his own dime. Maybe you even give the gifter a chance to extend it. Your boy has a birthday too, doesn’t he?

None of this is revolutionary. It’s just basically what everyone frigging else does. Get it the hell together, Patreon. And merry Christmas.

The Only Way To Stop A Good Guy With A Key Is A Good Guy With A Gun

It’s bad enough that this woman shot her own daughter because she came home unexpectedly, but just look at this horseshit.

Chief Norman said he tried to think of what advice to give in such a difficult case, “If you realize someone has a gun for protection, and they’re not expecting you — announce yourself when you enter the home, or even if you’re getting up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night, just announce yourself.

Or maybe get over your stupid gun fetish and act like the rest of the civilized world. You know, that strange place where innocents aren’t routinely mowed down by the dozens in mass shootings on a near daily basis.