Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle.
Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.
The youngster thought about this for a while.
“So then, why,” she finally asked her mother after putting the pieces together, “is the groom wearing black?”
I’ve never had to live with a person who uses all of the macaroni and cheese cheese and leaves the rest of us nothing but noodles, but I imagine it would be annoying. So it’s perfectly reasonable that 54-year-old Brian Rossi, upon having just such an experience perhaps not for the first time, requested that Alex, his 20-year-old son, please refrain from doing that in future. But since we here at Vomit Comet World HQ rarely deal in the perfectly reasonable, you know how his request was received.
The sheriff’s office report said Rossi told his son, Alex, 20, to “stop using all of the cheese packets” and the two men then engaged in an argument.
Alex allegedly “ran after” his father during the argument “and began to punch him in the face and head,” deputies wrote. The son “eventually took Brian to the ground and continued to hit him,” the report said.
Deputies said “Brian had a fresh laceration beneath his left eye with bruising and swelling” when they arrived at the home and Alex confirmed he and his father “were arguing over macaroni and cheese.”
The younger Rossi also admitted to punching his dad in the head, but said that dad had been punching him too. Seeing no visible injuries, however, police decided to charge him with misdemeanor assault and battery. At last report he remained jailed in lieu of $1097 bond, a figure clearly pulled at random from someone’s ass.
Here again is Gill, this time talking holiday traditions and memories.
Here come the holidays! Like it or not you will probably go somewhere with your family. You probably also have traditions that have gone back generations, like the sumtuous turkey dinner with all the trimmings, or the joining of hands to say the blessing. There are also those more modern ones. You know gathering around to watch Christmas Vacation, or the family game of snow football.
Memories are also made at this time. Some are for later amusement, like when uncle Larry ever the comedian got drunk and tried to put up the decorations. The emergency room nurses had a tough time not laughing at him being wheeled in with a Santa Clause stapled to his rear end. Some are sad, like when cousin Tyler was hit by a drunk driver and now is paralyzed from the chest down. Others still are distant, like when my dad, a giant to me picked me off the floor and tried to put me on top of the tree.
Whatever those traditions and memories are they hopefully will last for generations to come. What are your favorite traditions, memories, or moments?
I’ve heard of being banned from a single library, from every library in town or even every library in the county. But being told to stay out of every library on earth as a condition of your $1000 bond? Pretty sure that’s a new one. But that’s what happened to Tyree S. Carter of Racine, Wisconsin, when he was hauled into court for allegedly checking out himself rather than the books like everyone else.
An officer was dispatched to the library at 10:36 a.m. Wednesday for a report of Carter’s behavior. The employee who reported the behavior said Carter was on the second floor and was “standing in the open, not trying to conceal the act,” according to his criminal complaint.
When police arrived Carter was seated reading a book at a table and the officer asked Carter if he knew why police were called. He said he had no idea, the complaint said. But when the officer explained, Carter allegedly apologized and said it was his first time doing it in public, according to the criminal complaint.
While it might be new to me, apparently Court Commissioner John Bjelajac has been banning people from everything in the world for a number of years. I had no idea a local court could do that.
The libraries, meanwhile, seem to be appreciative.
Within a few days the story was picked up by media around the country.
Then, this Wednesday Bjelajac said he received a box of chocolates in the mail from Concord, Calif. It came along with a note that said, “Thank you from all the library patrons on the face of the earth.”
He cannot accept gifts like that in his capacity as a court commissioner, so he said, “I turned it over to my secretary and let her enjoy the chocolates.”
Hopefully they weren’t the cream filled ones.
How about a soundtrack?
Good luck getting that out of your head. And the Newsroom 11 intro at the end just made me feel every bit of old that the commercial hadn’t already gotten around to.
Now on to business.
Pretty much immediately, we get a good sense that there’s something not quite right about James Cowan. He went to Arby’s by choice, for god’s sake. Why would anyone do that? The cheese they use on those Beef ‘n Cheddars is cream sludge of the worst degree and I have no idea how people eat it.
But even worse than that, he’s alleged to have gotten entirely too grabby with the drive through lady as he grabbed for his food.
He was kind enough to make himself easy to find though, perhaps because he’s irresistible and he just knew that the Arby’s girl would come looking for him. unfortunately for him, the only ones who came to his door were the police she called.
It started when a female employee at an Arby’s in East Lampeter Township, Lancaster County, called police Wednesday night saying she was groped by a man as she handed over his order at the drive-thru window.
The employee gave police a description of the car, which was found outside a motel less than a mile away.
Authorities said they spotted a trail of Arby’s curly fries and sauce from the vehicle to the room of 36-year-old James Cowan of Fitzgerald, Ga.
He was charged with indecent assault but released on bail. He was scheduled for a court appearance on the 1st of November, but no word on how it went.
Oh my head. My head is an unhappy head. But hey, it was worth it.
We went to see Great Big Sea last night. I just wish our old friend Shoe was with us…that would have made it much cooler. But as it was, it was one awesome show.
I’m sad their tour is over, and one of their singers is leaving the band to go do his own thing. Going to a concert put on by Great Big Sea is just awesome because everybody gets involved. There is so much clapping and singing going on that you can’t help but feel good.
Some funny things before we get to the music. One of my coworkers had never heard of Great Big Sea before. So when I said I was going to Great Big Sea, there was a pause, followed by “Um? You’re going to the ocean? I’m confused.” We have to fix that….although I doubt he would be into them. But who knows, maybe he would.
Oh man the seats at the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium are smaaaaaall! You think an airplane seat is small? At least with those, there’s space under the seat in front of you to put stuff. I would hate to be much bigger than average size. Poor Tansy had to actually sit beside me in the aisle. thankfully our row of people didn’t have to pee a lot…or maybe they just elected not to disturb the cute puppy. At any rate, I didn’t have to keep getting up, down, up, down, to let people out and prevent puppy trompling. The scary part is I told them about Tansy when I booked the seats, and that was the best I could do! Holy crap!
Also, how in the good goddamn do you get into the Aud from the bus stop? We followed the bus driver’s instructions…and that got us nowhere. There were no pedestrians to be found…so we had to call the Aud and get found. How embarrassing! Thank you Jeff with your big ol’ truck. You rock. sorry to bother ya. I only wish we had had time to walk it so we’d understand what we did so we wouldn’t have to bother poor Jeff again. Oh well.
But those were the only snags. It was one amazing show. I’m not the most avid of great big sea fans, but I knew almost every song, and if I didn’t, I could get into it.
A few songs that I just have to mention:
I have to learn the words to come and I will sing you.
God, one night, if I’m feeling a little silly/have had a couple drinkies, I should try to sing that, then The Barleymow,
followed up by The Dublin Pub Crawl
and then finished off by “Three Jolly rogues” which the google and the YouTube won’t cough up. But you get the idea.
A couple more songs I want to mention because I think they’ll chase me: Scolding wife.
This one came on, and if I’d heard the song before, I don’t think I’d noticed the words because I looked over at Steve and said “Wow! Say what you really think, why don’t ya?” And then what was I whistling? This damn song, if not “River Driver”.
Safe Upon the Shore.
I don’t know what it was, it just held my attention.
After the show, we decided to grab some food and a couple drinks at Crabby Joe’s. I got a fuzzy navel, and the friggin glass was the same size as Steve’s beer! Needless to say, it didn’t take too many to give me the “oh my head” that started off this post. I still sounded a smidge drunk this morning. I ordered 2, and almost finished both of them. When I went to leave, I had to get down from one of those high chairs where my feet don’t touch the ground. I was afraid I was going to end up safe upon the floor!
But I think all is well on its way to being well. Yea water. Water is awesome. And so is Great Big Sea. Shoe, you had better have had a good time where you were, because you missed a beauty. And…enjoy my rambling message on your machine.
Gill just sent this in, which is kinda nice considering I didn’t get to bed until close to 3 this morning and had no intention of putting anything up today even if I hadn’t done that.
Related: if another chance ever comes around, go to a Great big Sea concert. It’s absolutely worth it. I think Carin may be writing about our night right now, actually.
With the holiday season approaching one might have to attend a lot of events with a lot of people. Some will be funny, uncle Larry getting drunk and singing the twelve days of Christmas in three part harmony all by himself, others will be bitter mom’s thrice divorced cousin Junie, who hates men, and wants the world to know as such. Others though will make us uncomfortable. You know that supersweet friend of your mom and dad’s who thinks that because you are vision challenged that you are permanently frozen at five years old? You all know that type, “how do you live by yourself?` “how do you go to the bathroom by yourself?` What’s your first reaction to this? If you are anything like me you would come up with a smart remark answer, and go find that cousin of your mom’s who snuck her and her underaged friends booze.
How does one deal with those pity-pats who always seem to touch your hand with there incredibly soft chubby one saying “there there dear.`? I think the best two ways are as follows, one smile and nod, and two ask a question that would direct the attention off of you.
That’s all for now friends. You know what to do. Tell my homeboy Steve about those folks who leave you highly uncomfortable.
Gill’s talk about the Sesame Street pinball song made me dig, root and search for Steve’s post where he mentions the thing. Good thing I did, since the damn video he linked to has been pulled, so I had to find another one. That was four years ago? Where is my life going?
But Gill’s dream post also got me thinking about a dream I have often. Every few months or so, I dream that I’m back in school, and things are merrily movin’ along, or so I think…until I suddenly discover that I have been neglecting an entire course of assignments. I either haven’t been going to the course at all, or I’ve just forgotten to do any of the work. I wonder how this is possible, and what on earth I’m going to do about it, especially since it’s now exam time…and then I wake up, madly trying to convince myself that this is not plausible because I make a calendar every semester, and I’m not even in school anymore, for crying out loud!
I always thought I was weird for having this dream over and over again. Then I heard it’s one of the most common dreams. I also saw dreams about illness/near death on the list. And here I thought having my head hacked open with an axe was something only I would dream. Maybe I’m not that odd after all?
And now, a bit of a break from the Black Friday madness for a few words from Gill.
As many of you all probably did, I grew up watching Sesame Street. When I was little I would marvel at the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 song, and wonder how the little ball went down that little tube. When I grew up I left those little thoughts behind. Logic, bills, and general grown-up stuff cluttered my world.
That was until a few years back when that little ball and tube entered my dreams. The next morning I talked to one of my friends about it, and she said, “that’s a pretty cool dream.`
So friends, my question to you is this. Do you have one of those dreams that is cool enough to come back from time to time?
The nice people in PR say things weren’t so bad, there was no Taser and no need to be alarmed, but a video and some witnesses make it seem a whole lot like a woman stun gunned another woman during an early morning fight at the Franklin Mills Mall in Philadelphia.
“It started out, one couple was fighting with another couple. They had words, the guys got into a fight and then the girls,” said Napolitano, who videotaped the melee. “One couple, they were like a family and all, with a young child in a stroller.”
The video shows the two women punching each other and someone in the crowd yelling, “No, stop.”
After the two hit the ground, fighting, you can hear the crackle of what sounds like a stun gun and see fluorescent-colored sparks.
“One girl just brought out a taser,” the 20-year-old said.
At that point, several people run up and pry the two women apart.
“Then security came over and I kinda left, you know, I was thinking, ‘God forbid if somebody has a gun or something,’” Napolitano said.