Apr 15 2014

If I Had My Druthers

Once again, here’s Gill. This time she’s musing about what she’d do for herself and the world if money actually did grow on trees.

Reminder: She’s not the only one who’s allowed to send in guest articles. You can, too. Contact info can always be found on this page.

I have often thought about this, but never really asked a lot of people what they would do in the situation where money wasn’t an issue, and they had free reign over what they could choose to do with their wealth.

The Big World Out There

1 Find ways to end wars by instituting programs to promote books over weapons.
2 End world hunger by creating and helping farmers, and introducing big business to the fair trade concept.
3 Make sure every boy and girl had not only a home, food, school, but the comfort that they were loved.
4 Create a safe environment where people could just talk.
Finally make it possible for people who never learned how to read to experience the joy of reading by having literacy stands on every corner of every street everywhere in the world.

Little Me

Now friends for a moment take this chance to indulge your wildest dreams.

1 I would go back to St. Martin and take a stroll through that Star Wars store, and maybe come back with some autographed stuff.
2 Take my mom on that trip to Thailand that she was always dreaming of, and learn to make a proper traditional meal from there.
3 Ski in Germany and Austria with my dad. Go to and check out those places I have only seen on TV.
4 Go on a huge trip with my sister and just spend time hanging out and really connecting with her.
Finally, and this dear friends is a touch on the far fetched side as I do not have a time machine. Go, like I did in that dream I told all of you about to Berlin, teach Jessie Owens how to high five, and of course go green pepper on Hitler.

German decent guilt aside, now it’s up to you. What kinds of things both big and small would you do if money wasn’t a factor, and you had your druthers?

Apr 15 2014

I Said What? You’re Not Deaf?

Not sure where this ranks on the best pranks ever list, but it’s pretty damn good.

Jeff Francoeur’s El Paso Chihuahuas teammates managed to convince him for weeks that one of the team’s pitchers, Jorge Reyes, was deaf. They managed to get everyone to go along with it to such a degree that they even kept it up during games. Even when they would drop hints, Francoeur never caught on. Hilarious. On Jeff Ears

Apr 15 2014

I’m Torchin’ It

They’re not a Dairy Queen Blizzard, but McFlurries are perfectly good. Whoever came up with the idea for the Easter Creme Egg one in particular is an overlooked genius. But are they good enough that it’s worth setting a guy’s car on fire when he refuses to buy you one? Considering that I ended that last sentence with a link, you’ve probably figured out that the answer is a resounding yes.

Witnesses said the woman was angry after she asked for a McFlurry and the man she was with refused to buy her one.

They said the woman grabbed the man’s keys and headed to his car.

One witness said she saw her pour alcohol and gasoline on the man’s car, light it on fire, and then run off.

People nearby tried to help him put the flames out.

A witness said the woman ran through a nearby parking lot, and was never seen again.

According to police, once the fire was out, the victim drove off. You know, as if this sort of thing happens all the time. Then again we’re in Florida, so maybe it does.

Apr 14 2014

Those Rotary Phone Kids React To Walkmans

From the people who brought you Kids React To Rotary Phones comes the latest reminder that we’re gettin’ old, you guys, KIDS REACT TO WALKMANS.

Pretty sure I died a little inside when the one kid exclaimed “My grandpa has these!” when shown a set of our old headphones.

And here are the bonus reactions if you feel like rubbing a little more salt in the wound.

Apr 14 2014

Tokyo Trippin’

Here’s Gill, attempting to make us all hungry.

Have you ever wanted to go to Japan, but looked at the price and ran for the hills, or realized that you need to renew your passport before you cross the border let alone the ocean? Or have you just wanted to go somewhere different to eat that doesn’t require a numb rear end or a passport?

Friends I have just returned from my latest foodcation. The sushi place, as I kind of can’t remember the name of the place was really quite an awesome little find, and it wasn’t overly far from my house.

Make It Authentic

Like when I went to the Ethiopian place I decided to order up Japanese tea to go along with my meal. Unlike Western style establishments this tea cup did not have a handle. I started my meal with a tofu soup, and salad which was lettuce with this ginger dressing.

Not Your Traditional Lunchbox

I ordered something called a Bento Box, which looked like your standard meal tray, but this had compartments in it. My not-so-typical tray had rice, fried cabbage, vegetable rolls, tempura vegetables, deep fried tofu, and in the middle sat tempura dipping sauce. My friend and I also enjoyed some vegetable spring rolls.

Talk more soon

Apr 14 2014

In Bloom, By Microsoft Songsmith

Remember a few years ago when Microsoft unleashed Songsmith on the world and the new fun thing to do was run famous songs through it and see what you came up with? We posted a bunch of them back then and still more died in the great Echo fiasco of 2011, but it seems we all missed at least one that really should have made it. Nirvana – In Bloom – Songsmith Version

Either time has dulled my memory or this one’s even more hilariously bad than usual.

Apr 11 2014

They’re Back!

Here’s Gill with some breaking news. TLC sucks, everyone.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch TLC. You’ve heard of Sharknado, and this summer’s cleverly named Sharknado 2 The 2nd one? Here’s something that might cause you to run to your online yellow pages, and find the nearest psychotherapist. Sex Sent me To The ER, or Freaknado is back traumatizing people who consider themselves both sane and logical. This might leave you asking, where are the good shows like Trauma Life In The ER, or other non-Freaknado shows went? Take comfort friends, because Princess White Trash, Honey Boo Boo isn’t on right now.

Now that I have spent the last few minutes complaining, I want you to have your say on this matter.

Apr 11 2014

I Don’t Even Know Who I Am Anymore

What a way for 30 years on the run to come to an end.

Today, Smith conducted a traffic stop on a vehicle registered to Gary Dixon. The driver identified himself to Smith as Gary Dixon.

James Dixon has twin brothers, Gary and Larry Dixon, and officials suspected that James Dixon used at least one of his brother’s identities in the past.

While “Gary” was speaking with other deputies on scene, Smith called out “Hey, James.”

“Gary” quickly turned his head and looked at Smith to see what he wanted.

James Dixon put his head down knowing he had given himself away, detectives said. He then confessed his true identity.

Apr 11 2014

Musical Rob Ford And Baby Rob Ford

And now, because hey, why not, here are a couple of Rob Ford related videos for your enjoyment. I enjoyed ‘em, at least.

Keep it the hell away from about 99% of the music I listen to on your average day, but sometimes, autotune is a wonderful thing. Rob Ford Sings “Ford Nation!”

Rob Ford sings “Ford Nation!”, a song that explores the deeper layers of the infamous mayor’s troubled past and hopes for re-election. Featuring vocal contributions by Doug Ford, Robyn Doolittle, Jian Ghomeshi, Ezra Levant, and Peter Mansbridge with special guests Woody Harrelson and Jimmy Kimmel.

And when you’re done with that, here’s a child employing the Rob Ford Defense when questioned about a cracked window.

And with that, I shall move forward.

Apr 09 2014

Final Thoughts

And now, here’s Gill with what appears to be the third and final part of her vacation notes. Between these and Mike Johnson’s diary of his week taking in all of this year’s Wrestlemania festivities, I kind of want to go somewhere even though the traveling part of traveling is way high up on the ‘ol shit I hate list.

Take it away, Gill!

Then And Now

When my sister and I were little our parents would take us to cool places to learn about cool things. One trip was to the East coast of Canada, another to the Amish country in Pennsylvania. On one such trip my sister got the brilliant idea of making me smell her feet in order to treat me to ice-cream in our stop town. Although we no longer do stuff like that to one and other we do have loads of fun together. On this cruise we participated in trivia contests, listened to the music on her I Phone, and just hung out like old friends.

Gillie’s Notes

My parents and sister often asked me about where I would go for a week from the islands we visited, and my friends here’s the Gillie facts. St. Lucia for its beautiful views, Rain Forest, and the friendly people. St. Martin for its cool factor, and its Star Wars shop. St. Thomas for the diving, and shopping with my mom and sister. Barbados for the food and golfing. Finally St. Kitts for getting a photo with a monkey, and to do some serious nothing.

Thanks for letting me share my adventures with you. You’ll never know what is around the bend, so my advice is to keep reading, laugh, and don’t forget to enjoy the sunshine.

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