This Bud’s For You. This Warrant? Not So Much

Good on Billy Bob Hall for doing the right thing and turning himself in to police so that he could take care of his warrants. But perhaps before he started in on the liquid courage, he should have made sure those warrants existed. They didn’t.

Billy Bob Hall, 59, thought he was the subject of a warrant for a parole violation so he went to the Parker County jail to turn himself in.

In speaking to Hall, Deputy R. Chavez detected the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage, according to the arrest report. Hall admitted he drank seven Budweiser beers before coming into the station.
Unfortunately for Hall, once he turned himself in, deputies found he didn’t have a warrant for his arrest. They would have let him go, except that he was intoxicated to the degree that he posed a danger to himself and to others.

After seven Buds? I hope they were at least tall boys, because where I come from seven Budweisers is what we use for hydration when we don’t have easy access to tap water.

But since he was in such a state, he was charged with public intoxication and put away to sober up. Hopefully while he’s in there police will try to get to the bottom of what he thought he did, just in case he might have done it.

Yes Steve, The Words Cutting And Ford Do Still Appear In The Same Sentence For Other Reasons Now And Then

Ford is cutting 7,000 white-collar jobs
No joke, when I saw this, I automatically assumed that the Ford in question was Doug. It isn’t. It’s the car maker. But if you live in Ontario, I’m sure you’ll forgive the mistake. And if you don’t, I hope this helps you better understand what it’s like to live here right now.

Rich People Are Going To Hang Us Out To Dry. Film AT 11

Everyone, I need you to drop whatever you are doing and listen to what I am about to say. For what I bring to you today is news of an extremely important, heretofore unthinkable revelation. I hope you are ready, and that you are sitting down or otherwise properly secured so as to prevent shock induced fainting.

Ok, here we go.

According to this new report, if the problems caused by climate change get as bad as a lot of smart people say they could, rich people will look after themselves and basically say to hell with everyone else. Have you got that? People with the ability to do so are going to save their own skins and leave the rest of us to starve and burn and die.

I know, I know. I am as shocked as you are. But I can assure you that this is absolutely true. This report was paid for. With Money. Money that surely could have been better spent planting some trees or on any number of other things that might actually be kinda helpful if shit ever goes down. I mean come on. Anyone with an honest bone in his body and two brain cells to rub together knows this. Wealthy business people, by and large, are not looking out for you and I. Never have, never will.

The world is on course for “climate apartheid,” where the rich buy their way out of the worst effects of global warming while the poor bear the brunt, a UN human rights report said on Tuesday.
The report, submitted to the UN Human Rights Council by its special rapporteur on extreme poverty, Philip Alston, said business was supposed to play a vital role in coping with climate change, but could not be relied on to look after the poor.
“An over-reliance on the private sector could lead to a climate apartheid scenario in which the wealthy pay to escape overheating, hunger, and conflict, while the rest of the world is left to suffer,” he wrote.
He cited vulnerable New Yorkers being stranded without power or healthcare when Hurricane Sandy hit in 2012, while “the Goldman Sachs headquarters was protected by tens of thousands of its own sandbags and power from its generator.”
Relying exclusively on the private sector to protect against extreme weather and rising seas “would almost guarantee massive human rights violations, with the wealthy catered to and the poorest left behind,” he wrote.

Ford Government Finally Finds Something It Can’t Cut

Unfortunately, that something is carbon emissions.

Premier Doug Ford’s government has done almost nothing on the bulk of the promises in the greenhouse-gas reduction plan Ontario introduced last November, according to a new report by an environmental watchdog group. 
The report published Thursday by Environmental Defence examines the seven key actions Ontario pledged to cut carbon emissions in the province, and finds that little or no progress has been made on all but one.  
The actions were laid out in the “Preserving and Protecting our Environment for Future Generations,” the plan unveiled after the Progressive Conservatives scrapped the Wynne Liberal government’s cap-and-trade program.
“The government has acknowledged that the climate crisis is real, human-caused, and must be addressed,” said Environmental Defence in its report. “Ontario’s failure to act is a broken promise.”

The Environmental Defence report says the government is already “not on track” to achieve its own emission reduction targets, in part because of decisions that have slowed the pace of electric vehicle sales and delayed a push for more renewable content in fuel.

Electric vehicle sales in Ontario during the first quarter of 2019 were down 55 per cent from the same time period the previous year, after the government scrapped all rebates for purchasing electric cars.

I’ve never been quite certain what, beyond looking like cheap asses that don’t want to spend money, they were trying to accomplish by making that decision. Who does it help? Obviously it isn’t helping the automakers, because their sales in Ontario are cratering. And it therefore follows that it can’t be helping consumers, because if those rebates weren’t making a real difference in affordability people would still be buying electric cars. It’s just one more piece of the fire, ready, aim strategy that they’ve been spending the last few months trying to undo now that their poll numbers have done their best impression of electric vehicle sales.

But that’s not to say that every environmental idea the government has is bad. I actually quite like the idea of making companies responsible for the waste they generate and standardizing what can and cannot go into recycling. If you ever visit friends or family in cities that aren’t your own, that second part should have you jumping for joy. It’ll all come down to implementation of course and there’s still plenty of time for them to mess it up, but for now this is a rare bit of Doug Ford policy I can get behind.

Everybody Needs Good Speakeroos

I like the little song in the Volkswagen commercials. It’s bouncy, it’s catchy, it’s fun to sing along to…especially when you actually know the words.

I wasn’t sure if I was going deaf, there was too much background noise, I always caught it from a distance or some combination of the three, but for a while I was convinced it was saying “Everybody needs some helperoo.”

I don’t want to shock you, but it is definitely not saying that. Whether it should be saying that because “helperoo” is kind of a cool sounding word is a discussion we can have at another time, but until they re-record it to reflect this much needed revision, it’s “Elbow Room.”

But even knowing that, it still sounds like “helperoo” to me. I thought it was just my brain filling it in until recently when I listened to it on my good computer speakers rather than the ones on our old ass TV which is where I usually hear it. On the good speakers it’s absolutely “elbow room,” but on the TV I hear “helperoo” to this day.

We’re still using the TV a friend gave us when those shitheads from Metropolitan Movers busted ours back in 2012, and that thing was old in 2012. I’ve never liked the sound on it. In fact it’s the only TV I’ve ever gotten somebody to help me change the sound profile on, which thankfully we were able to do because it was compressing the shit out of everything so you couldn’t watch anything without it alternating between too quiet and too loud every few seconds.

Where was I going with this? Remind people not to use Metro Movers…Helperoo…Elbow Room…good speakers are important…Does anybody have any recommendations for a new TV? Yeah, let’s land there. We’ve been meaning to replace ours but just haven’t gotten around to it. We don’t want to spend a zillion dollars, we just want a nice, decent-sized living room TV. And if we can avoid it, no Smart TVs unless there’s a compelling reason to go that route. We really don’t need the accessibility hassles, plus I could do without my sketchy viewing habits being sent back to the mothership. Wait, did I say sketchy viewing habits? Because if I did, what I actually meant was my personal and confidential information.

It’s Been 25 Years Since That Version Of O Canada AT The Las Vegas CFL Game

I posted this video once before, back when everybody was freaking out about Nelly Furtado singing O Canada at that basketball game and I was trying to get them all to calm down. And now that the 25th anniversary of what is still one of the best worst anthem performances of all time has passed, I have an excuse to post it once more.

CBC Sports has a fun story with quotes from singer Dennis Casey Park about how his legendary performance came to be and what happened afterward.

“I’d just returned the day before from Japan where I’d been performing for a few months,” Park said. “I got a call initially to sing the anthem and assumed it was “The Star Spangled Banner.”
“I was very tired . . . and ended up saying yes. They called back a few hours later and I realized it was ‘O Canada’ and I said, ‘You know guys, I’m not familiar with ‘[O Canada].’ I’ve heard it a lot but never sung it.’ They said, ‘Oh, well, you agreed and we put it out in the press that you and Dionne Warwick [would perform national anthems at the game]. Can you do it? Can you do it? Will you do it, please?’ ”
Undeterred, Park received a tape of the music and the words and got down to work.

“I had it down fairly well or I wouldn’t have gone out there,” he said.
But moments before Park was to perform, he saw the on-field director signal there was no music. Park knew immediately he was in trouble.
“I’d never done ‘[O Canada]’ before and I needed the music to follow me up,” he said. “If the music had played, I would’ve been fine.
“So I started to sing and the first note came out and then I got an echo right in my ear. I’ve sung in stadiums all over and it [the echo] hit me and I got off and I was hoping to get back on. It’s not a long anthem and I was like, ‘Should I stop and apologize,’ and by the time I decided something the song was almost over. So I went through it and that was that.”
Park, who splits his time between Shanghai and Las Vegas these days, also knew his rendition was nowhere near correct.
“Of course I knew,” he said. “I knew that very second and was trying to figure out what to do.
“The big deal was the music and secondly was where I was singing. The echo came right back at me and knocked me off and because I didn’t have the music to guide me through I couldn’t get back on.”

Complaining, controversy and ridicule followed, but things turned out just fine in the end. Park went on something of an O Canada redemption tour, which I totally don’t remember even though I’ll never forget his original performance as long as I live. To this day he’s still recognized all over the place as Anthem Man, and he even ended up meeting his wife because of it. Thank god we didn’t have Twitter in 1994 or his career may have never recovered.

With Friends Like These, We’re Going To End Up With The Government Nobody Deserves

Maybe hordes of black people have been telling Judy Sgro that they’re very proud that Justin Trudeau wore blackface years ago. I have my doubts, but I can’t prove that they aren’t. But if they are, why apologize for saying so? And if they aren’t, why would you make up something so immensely dumb?

In the interview, Sgro said that the incidents happened 20 years ago, and “all of us were young at one time, and all of us sometimes made poor choices, and did things that may not be appropriate in today’s world.”
What she said next is what created all the furor on Twitter:

“Let me tell you that, knocking on doors and being in the plazas and talking to people to make sure that I’m as sensitive as I need to be if I miss something … Those in the Black community have told of how much more love they have for the prime minister. That he wanted to have a blackface. That he took great pride in that, too. And that it’s the media that has blown this into something that it shouldn’t be.”

I’m planning to vote Liberal. They aren’t perfect, but when it comes right down to it, I feel that they’re the party in the best position to be trusted with the keys to all the important stuff. But if some of you don’t share that assessment, I get it. It does seem at times like they’re making things needlessly hard on themselves. I wish they would stop. Nobody needs an Andrew Scheer/Doug Ford/Jason Kenney federal government, even if they might think they do when stories like these come along.

Air Farce Grounded

I can’t remember the last time I actually sat down and watched an Air Farce special on New Year’s Eve because most years we’re either hosting something or being hosted by someone else, but that doesn’t mean I won’t miss them when they’re gone, which apparently is going to be soon.

It isn’t what it once was because that’s what happens when three of your original members are dead, but no matter what, I’ll always have a soft spot for it. I’m glad it’s getting a sendoff, even if it’s a sad sounding scaled down one.

The Air Farce franchise ran as a radio program from 1973 to 1997, and a weekly TV show from 1993 to 2008. Considering this long legacy, Catto offered Ferguson one last opportunity to produce an hour-long goodbye for fans.
“We were very grateful when they came back and said they can do it,” says Catto. “It means a lot to us and I think it speaks to their commitment to Canadian audiences.”
The reduced budget, however, will force Farce to fly through their sketches without a studio audience.
“It’ll be the first and only time in 46 years,” says Ferguson. “I’m grateful that CBC has given us a chance to say goodbye, but it still hurts a little.”
He plans to assemble the same cast who performed with Farce last New Year’s Eve, including fellow founding trouper Luba Goy, Jessica Holmes, Craig Lauzon, Darryl Hinds, Isabel Kanaan and Chris Wilson. Ferguson says everyone participating, including himself, is getting paid a minimum rate allowed by Canada’s acting union due to budget constraints.
The special will feature highlights from the past decade of New Year’s Eve shows as well as clips from the 16 seasons when “Air Farce” ran as a regular weekly TV series. These will include salutes to two dear, departed original farceurs, John Morgan and Roger Abbott.
There will also be the usual jabs at headlines from the past 12 months. “We’ve always prided ourselves on being current,” says Ferguson, “and that will remain our focus inasmuch as the reduced budget permits.”

Hell In A Cell Is Dead, Much Like My Interest In WWE. Here, Have A Wrestling Notepad

So good to see one guy clowning both sets of tag champions by himself. I know the one guy is Braun, but jesus. Do they not have 4 random dudes back there? Do we have to go out of our way at every turn to make sure that nobody ever cares about anything again?

Speaking of not caring about anything, they’d better have a plan for this Cedric Alexander and A.J. Styles business beyond the current A.J. beats him like a drum at every turn thing they appear to be going with.

Not sure that having Baron Corbin beat Chad Gable in the King of the Ring finals after weeks of everyone calling Chad a short little geek who doesn’t belong in the tournament is what I would have done, but I’m not going to complain too much…yet. I liked the match. Chad had the people behind him, he looked like he belonged in there and Corbin had to work hard for that win. The key now is what they do with Gable. If you’re smart, now is the time to keep the momentum going by letting him go on a tear through scrubs and lower card guys, throwing them around, looking impressive and getting some wins on his way back up. But since this is WWE and smart is often the last word that comes to mind when watching these shows, I’m guessing he’s going to be a short little geek that’s never on TV again within a month.

I did not enjoy the Maria gender reveal and who might be the father nonsense, but it was historic. The Maria on a pole line marks the first time the main roster Street Profits have been remotely entertaining.

It wasn’t the best wrestling show I ever saw, but the September 17th Smackdown did a good job of moving some things along.

I’m definitely interested in Kofi and Brock. That one kind of came out of nowhere and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes. Do they do the obvious and have Brock just squash him? Does Kofi put up a good fight but lose in the end? Will there be a DQ or some sort of disputed finish that will let them make a feud out of it? Could Kofi actually win? Or here’s an idea. Maybe Brock is about to win when the rest of New Day runs out and they all beat him down 3 on 1. I don’t think people would see that coming. Not sure if I really want them to go that route since there’s such a face vs. heel imbalance across WWE, but New Day has felt like they’ve needed a new direction for a while now and that would certainly freshen them up.

As hard as I’ve been on the story as a whole, I didn’t mind the Shane and Owens lawsuit angle. It’s a little odd having the hero be the one suing, but I’ll let it go in this case because it doesn’t take much to make some sense out of it. If you can’t get a fair shake in the ring from a guy who’s entire identity is based on money, power and being untouchable because he’s the boss’s kid, why not use the fact that he’s gone too far this time to hit him where it’s going to hurt him? It’s not much, but it’s something. I’m sure we’re headed for another match and that’s no good, but for once there’s a piece of this dumb ass story that I don’t have to complain about, so we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

The first 2 hour NXT was a good show. NO surprise there. I knew it would be. My concern is more about what happens when we get to show 8 or 12 or 17. They’re already loading up the first few shows with big matches to start the USA era off hot and to get a jump on AEW, and I don’t know how you keep that going once you’ve burned through that many things all at once.

And on the subject of burning things out, that crowd was fantastic. I hope they can keep up that amount of enthusiasm once we get to show 8 or 12 or 17. Doing the show from the same place every week is risky because you’re drawing from a smaller pool of fans, and I hope they don’t run into the problem that Impact had at the old Orlando Impact Zone where eventually the audiences had seen everything and it was much harder to get them pumped up.

Was good to see Lio Rush back wrestling and being taken seriously again. Hopefully his match being for a Cruiserweight Title shot is a sign of things to come.

Usually when WWE mashes 2 songs together into 1 it’s obnoxious and awful, but Baron Corbin’s regular theme with bits of regal sounding king music sprinkled in is pretty great.

I didn’t watch much of it because I was more focused on hockey and baseball, but what a cool feeling it was to be able to flip over to TSN and see AEW Dynamite. It must have been a great show, because I’ve already talked to 2 lifelong WWE fans who are saying that this might be what makes them finally quit Raw and Smackdown. They’re like me in that they haven’t been happy with what WWE has been giving them for a long time, but actually giving up hasn’t seemed like a real option. I hope that this plus the internal competition from NXT and the pressure to live up to the huge TV deals they’ve signed will start making Raw and Smackdown better, but if it doesn’t happen soon main WWE might find itself down 3 more weekly viewers.

If I don’t quit, part of the reason will be that Daniel Bryan is just the goddamn best. He’s a fantastic prick heel and every bit as good as a fiery, sympathetic underdog hero. And no matter which one he needs to be, he makes it seem so effortless because he’s so talented in every possible way that he can make the best of whatever is thrown at him. Plus he just had the best Erick Rowan match I think I’ve ever seen.

I’m a little surprised that USA Network is letting WWE get away with plugging Smackdown Live moving to Fox so much.

Now that they’re heels, they should call Sasha and Bayley the Boss and Thug Connection.

That Shane and Owens segment seemed really rushed. Not that I need to hear Shane struggle to spit out his lines for 20 minutes, but we went from lawyers and lawsuit negotiations to a ladder match with careers on the line without any real suspense. Yes, I said we’re getting a ladder match. Jesus. And I hope Owens is smart enough to get some sort of nobody can interfere provision written into that contract or we’re right back where we started…again. Oh, and if all of a sudden Owens is saying that this isn’t about money, why did he spend weeks whinging about his fine?

Oh hey, Raw has fireworks again. I guess if you’re not going to stop dropping illogical turds on a weekly basis you might as well polish those suckers up and hope to distract a few folks.

Has anyone made sure that Dominick Mysterio is still alive? Kid took a hell of a beating from Brock there.

And we’re resetting the babyface count on this show to 0 not counting the agents that came out to help, correct? Why wasn’t the locker room emptying once he attacked a fucking child? Yes I’m aware that the child is larger than his father, but if the idea is that he’s just a kid, what the fuck sort of cowardly, immoral degenerates are all of these heroes? But hey, at least a few of them offered their best wishes well after the fact, which I guess in WWE land makes it all ok.

Cedric Alexander got beaten by AJ Styles again. Must be a day ending in Y. At least they got to have an actual competitive match this time.

Um, why are Rusev and Lana suddenly having marital problems? Why did Lana randomly show up with Bobby Lashley and start making out with him during Rusev’s match? Why is there so much soap opera, daytime talk show garbage on these shows lately?

If you missed Matt Riddle vs. Adam Cole from the October 2nd NXT and based on the first week of the NXT vs. AEW ratings war there’s a decent chance you did, go watch it. Hell of a match.

I’m still not quite used to NXT matches having commercial breaks in the middles of them.

They’re calling it the NXT Cruiserweight title now and they scrapped this week’s 205 Live with basically no notice. Would be weird if they just brought it back next week, so hopefully that means it’s done.

Tommaso Ciampa is back!

I like that Finn Balor came out to confront Cole at the start of the show and then Ciampa did the same at the end. They’ve already got the next two title matches lined up, and they’re both ones I want to see. All I ask is that they don’t book a stupid 3-way, at least not until both Balor and especially Ciampa who never lost the belt get fair 1-on-1 matches for it.

How better to kick off the Smackdown on Fox era than with a long ass talking segment? At least the Rock was there, but still.

“Could you imagine a WWE without Shane McMahon,” asks Michael cole. Yes. Yes I could.

Owens won the ladder match. Thank god. It wasn’t as much of a 1-sided murder as it maybe should have been, but hopefully the decisive finish means we’ll be rid of Shane for a while.

Are they actually setting up a match between Strowman and Tyson Fury or is this just a thing they’re doing to get mainstream sports coverage?

Roman Reigns just pinned the unstoppable Erick Rowan after Daniel Bryan took out the unstoppable Luke Harper on free TV 2 days before the big tag match at the PPV. Boy, I sure can’t wait to shell out money to see if they can overcome the odds.

Well, Kofi and Brock just happened. And they did the obvious and had Brock squash him. They even did it in like 8 seconds so we’d know that all of those months of us cheering for him and being told that he was a serious champion were worthless. No, I’m not holding my breath waiting for the Kofi Kingston redemption story.

The post match stuff with Cain Velasquez was pretty good though and the announcers actually did their jobs and explained to us who he is and why Brock was so afraid of him. I feel much more certain of this turning into a match than I do of the Tyson Fury stuff.

Have they announced any matches for Hell in a Cell? I can think of the 2 cell matches, Bryan/Reigns vs. Rowan/Harper and Charlotte vs. Bayley, but that’s not going to fill 37 hours. It almost seems like they forgot they had a PPV coming up. Although to be fair, until my cousin texted me for predictions, so did I

Oh man. This should be fun. Nobody really spoiled anything, but I’ve been told that I’m going to hate this show. Nicest thing someone said to me about it is “well, at least it ended earlier than usual.”

I’m a little surprised that they put all that work into reintroducing Sasha only to have her lose to Becky in the cell, but I’m a fan of champions not losing all the damn time and the match was pretty good so I won’t complain.

I’m not going to say I didn’t like the Reigns and Bryan vs. Harper and Rowan tornado tag match. I did. But I would have liked it more if I hadn’t already seen Bryan and Reigns get the better of them 2 days earlier on Smackdown. I wonder what happens to Rowan and Harper now. Do they disappear again?

Orton and Ali was fine enough, but the crowd seemed dead after the two wild matches in a row. It didn’t help that nobody is all that invested in Ali since he’s been back, to the point where anybody who did care enough to chant was doing so for Orton during his big comeback. I hope they decide what they’re doing with him, because he’s a talented dude that could be a decent star if not booked like the rest of the treadmill geeks.

Why are Natalya and Lacey wrestling on Raw tomorrow? I just watched Natalya decisively win the feud on the kickoff show.

I must have missed their turn, but Asuka and Sane were kind of wrestling heel all match and then eventually won the women’s tag titles with a little bit of old school mist to the face. If there’s any justice in this world they should dominate whatever passes for the women’s tag division on all 3 shows for a good while, because they’re great and it’s time those belts finally got to mean something.

Other than too much time and not enough matches to fill it, I’m not sure what the reason was for that random 6-man with the OC, Braun and the Vikings. An absolute waste of time with a trash DQ finish for no real reason. Why did the OC get DQ’d? All they were doing was winning too much. And then the Viking Raiders just beat up Gallows and Anderson like they’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks anyway, so it’s not as though any of this protected anybody. Oh, and apparently Braun is a high level power punching boxer now, knocking AJ into the middle of next week with one punch. I guess maybe they are going further with this Tyson Fury stuff.

Chad Gable has two pretty good matches with Baron Corbin, both of which he easily could have won and one of which only didn’t result in a true victory because Baron got himself disqualified when he was about to get beaten. The crowd is cheering for him as he heads into a third match with Corbin. Gable finally gets his win, only to have the idiot ring announcer declare that “Shorty Gable” is your winner. That’s the name Corbin gave him before the match started, and at no point did he ever intimidate the guy into using it. What the hell? I don’t hate this show yet, but I’m getting irritated.

Why did Charlotte beat Bayley? Nothing at all against her, but things seemed more interesting with Bayley as champion. I guess maybe it doesn’t matter since Sasha lost too and my idea was that they would both be singles champs and then win the tag belts and have a run with everything for a while, but now I have no idea what’s happening.

Speaking of which, am I supposed to feel sorry for post match sad Bayley or dislike her for being upset that she lost something important to her? I can’t figure it out. Seems the crowd can’t, either. Some are booing, some are shouting encouragement, some are asleep.

And now one of the backstage interviewers calls Gable Shorty and makes it sound like a mistake. Hate is a strong word, but I’m just about done with this waste of time.

Corbin attacks Gable and lays him out. Why? This feud does not need to continue. It was at a logical end point.

Ok friends, you win. I hate this show. They didn’t announce a decision, but I do believe I just saw a guy get disqualified for using weapons in a Hell In a Cell match where weapons are clearly legal and had been liberally used up to that point. Was it the dastardly Fiend? NO, it was Seth Rollins, who we’re supposed to be rooting for but who the crowd totally turned on by the end because he over did the weapons to such a degree as to get sympathy on a crazy monster demon man. A crazy monster demon man who then proceeded to shrug it all off and beat the absolute hell out of him, I should point out. The fans were pissed, loudly chanting things like “bullshit” and something that sounded an awful lot like “AEW.” Somehow this was all even worse than last year’s non-finish in the Strowman Roman HIAC. WWE should never be allowed to do a cell match again. This was some Vince Russo level horseshit right here. It feels like a big fuck you to everyone, including the TV companies that now have to pay them billions of dollars for programming no matter how many fans they run off. Awful, just awful.