Feb 27 2015

Fact Or Fiction, The All TNA Edition

I’m in the mood to talk wrestling and I still have a couple of them sitting here, so let’s do some Fact Or Fiction, shall we? Wait, why am I asking? I’m the only one doing it. Well, me and these guys.

This is an all TNA questions special, so if you can’t get Impact since the end of their Spike TV era, you might be a little lost if you don’t have the whole streaming/torrent thing mastered yet.

Speaking of which, TNA has made it officially possible for Canadians to see the shows online while they work on getting themselves a television deal here. But of course, in true TNA can never quite get its shit together fashion, when I Googled this an out of date page listing them as still on Spike every Wednesday ranked higher than that there current one. Oops.

Anywho, now that you can watch Destination America Impacts, let’s get to it.

1. TNA Lockdown was a solid, but unspectacular show.

Sounds about right. There was a good bit to like about it, but nothing I’ll remember for years to come.

While we’re on the subject, we need to talk about cage matches. Listen, wrestling companies. If you want to book interference, don’t make a fucking cage match. You’ve killed the stipulation to death, dug it up, reanimated it and killed it again multiple times at this point. What good is a match where no one gets out and no one gets in when everybody either gets in or tosses shit through the camera hole? Once in a blue moon cage interference is fine, but it has to be unexpected to be special. As it is, when I hear cage match, I know that two things are going to happen. Somebody’s going to take a stupid bump off the top of the thing and somebody from the outside is getting in through the door or throwing in a chair/chain/table/handcuffs/whatever. It’s long past old. Please stop.

And quit enforcing tags in tag team cage matches. That’s just dumb. Feel free to mash this guy’s head into the side until he’s torn to shreds, but don’t you even think about attacking him 2 on 1, little misters. What sense does that make, especially since A: the dude has a partner who can come over and help and B: cage matches are no disqualification? If nobody wants to tag, what exactly is the ref going to do about it?

2. Following a great return in 2014, Lashley has lost steam since his face turn and separation from MVP.

He has, but who hasn’t? I’m more entertained than not by TNA these days, but it doesn’t feel can’t miss. I like that there’s more of a focus on the ring now. I’ll almost always see some good wrestling when I tune in. There are some entertaining characters. But nothing has any sort of buzz around it. it’s just sort of there, like they’re still getting their feet back underneath them. The way he’s acted since he left MVP isn’t exactly doing him any favours, but the cooling off thing isn’t an issue specific to Lashley.

3. You do not care how far ahead TNA tapes their TV as long as they put out quality programming.

Indeed. I do my best to avoid spoilers, so it mostly doesn’t concern me. My only issue is that sometimes they film things out of order and it shows because attention to detail has never been a company strong point. Oh, and never tape so much TV that it runs beyond a pay-per-view that hasn’t happened yet. That was stupid in the 90’s when WCW did it and it’s even worse now because internet.

4. Gunner has been the most wasted/misused talent on the TNA roster over the last 12 months.

It’s hard to pick one, but he’s definitely in the conversation. He’s shown that he could be something kind of special as a babyface if he’s given time to connect with the audience. They really should let him and see what they have.

5. While they are close friends outside of the ring, the “Beat Down Clan” feels like every other “new heel stable that tries to takeover” that TNA seems to always run with.

Yes. I like all of those guys, but I have no reason to care about them as a group beyond the usual. They want the title and the money and the power. Yeah, join the club. That’s why there’s a show. They’re just another group of dudes. Dudes who are good in the ring, but dudes.

6. Ethan Carter III will be the TNA World Champion by the end of 2015.

Boy, did WWE drop the ball on that guy or what? Everything Gunner could be as a face he is as a heel, and I’ll bet he’d have no problem turning.

As for whether or not he’ll be champion by the end of 2015, I’ll give that one an easy yes unless they strike gold with something else they can ride long-term. He’ll make a fine champion some day regardless, because he’s just so good at everything.

That’ll do it. Enjoy Impact, now that such a thing is possible. Take that however you’d like.

Feb 27 2015

Doctor-Assisted Suicide Will Soon Be Legal, Thank The Lord

This news is a couple weeks old now, but it’s good news and it needs sharing.

The Supreme Court of Canada has struck down the ban on doctor -assisted suicide for mentally competent people suffering from terminal illnesses, saying that the current rules violate our Charter of Rights. Not only did the court kill it, it did so unanimously, which comes as a pleasant shock. The government now has a year to draft a new law to reflect the new rules. I’m a little nervous that the Conservatives are likely going to be the ones to write it given the timing, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, let’s enjoy the end of one of those controversies that shouldn’t be a controversy.

I’ve said it before, but to me, this has always been an issue that boils down to two basic points.

1. Until you’ve survived your own long, drawn out, agonizing, irreversible death, you have no right to tell anyone else what to do.

2. A thing being legal does not force you to do that thing. Smoking is legal, but I don’t smoke. Why? I don’t want to. If the day should come that you’re in the unfortunate position to walk in the shoes of those who wish to die, you’ll be afforded that same freedom of choice.

One other thing has always bothered me about the anti right to die crowd. The type of person who tends to be against it is the same one who shows up at every funeral and keeps telling you that your loved one is “in a better place now.” Well then, if that place is so much better, why are you fighting so hard to keep him in *this* place against his will? What a selfish jerk you turned out to be. I figured that out when I was like 14, so why is it such a difficult concept? Then again I’m the type of guy who generally takes religion out of equations and replaces it with logic and common sense, so maybe I just answered my own question.

Feb 26 2015

You Either Take Gold In The Sailing Obstacle Course, Or You Die

Serious question. does anyone from the IOC bother visiting these places before they’re chosen as Olympics host nations? And if yes, are any of them allergic to bribes? 2016 Rio Olympics: Raw sewage, trash will remain in sailing waters
No plan ‘B’ despite dirty conditions

Rio de Janeiro Olympic organizers said Tuesday they have “no plan B” for the 2016 games’ sailing competitions, despite a recent admission by the state’s top environment official that it will be impossible to meet pledges to clean up the raw sewage and trash-filled waters where the events are to be staged.
Mario Andrade, spokesman of the Rio 2016 organizing committee insisted the sailing competitions “will be held in the Guanabara Bay, under the best possible Olympic conditions.”
Guanabara Bay has become a hot-button issue ahead of the 2016 games. It stinks of raw sewage and is dotted with abandoned couches, refrigerators and animal carcasses as well as, at low tide, with islands of human waste. Athletes have described the bay as an “open sewer” and raised concerns about hepatitis and other illnesses, as well as the possibility of potentially catastrophic high-speed collisions with floating detritus.
Brazil’s most respected health research institute said late last year it had found a drug-resistant super-bacteria on a beach near where the sailing competitions will get underway.

When are we going to tear down the IOC and start over? Awarding the games to countries who’s best event is human rights violation, insane levels of sponsorship exclusivity at the expense of other businesses, violating people’s basic privacy rights in the name of security…and those are just a few of the surface problems. When is enough enough? I love the sports aspect of the Olympics, but literally everything else about them is making it harder and harder to keep saying that.

Feb 26 2015

The WWE Network Is Finally Available On Bell

I’m astounded (not in a good way) that there was absolutely no press release or other sort of publicity for this, but as of February 25th, the WWE Network is finally available to Bell TV and Bell Fibe subscribers. You can find it on channel 1446.

That’s literally all I can tell you. I assume that the $11.99 price that everyone else is paying applies to Bell also, but who knows? Seriously, what a clown show this is.

But media company clown show or not, I whole heartedly recommend the Network itself. Even if you watch nothing but the monthly pay-per-views, you’re saving a fortune. But there’s also NXT which can be pretty amazing, the various features and documentaries that WWE usually does a great job on and what’s fast becoming my favourite thing, Throwback Thursday. An entire day filled with classic shows from WWF, NWA/WCW, World Class, Mid-South and other libraries they own that I’m probably forgetting? Yes please. And don’t forget that we have online access now, which means full on demand library as opposed to the considerably smaller one they’ve been offering on the TV service. If you like wrestling at all, it’s a great value.

Feb 26 2015

The Strangers Aren’t The Danger

Because too many of us are awful and stupid, science was required to explain this to us. Kids free to explore and play are more healthy, study finds

Stay tuned next week for people who drink water are less likely to dehydrate, research suggests.

I wish I could explain how far around the bend it drives me that people my age are the ones ruining this crop of kids. I just don’t get how it happened. I know that each generation changes from the one that came before. Things are learned, adjustments are made. That’s sensible. But how did we get…here? How, so quickly, did we go from why don’t you go out and have some fun with your friends for the day to it’s 2 o’clock, time for your play date? From be home before dark to I’ll drop you off and pick you up? Or even worse, to I’ll take you there and then just hang around to make sure nothing happens? From don’t fall off the monkey bars to oh my god there are monkey bars here, don’t even look at them or you’re all going to die? From try not to get hurt at the playground to barely even allowed to have a playground? What the hell happened?

Forget all the focus on physical activity. What about all of the lost opportunities for kids to be kids? To learn how to socialize and have imaginations and eventually grow into functional adult human beings? You know, all of the opportunities our parents gave us while they were busy not smothering our spirit to death.

And don’t even get me started on all this stranger danger garbage. it’s no worse now than it was then. If something’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. there’s only so much you can do to prevent it. Do your best, then hope for the same. Unless you can prove to me that there was no such thing as pedophiles in the 70s and 80s, go back in the house and let Jimmy ride his bike down the damn block. Trust that he’ll remember the lessons you taught him. If you’re a good parent and he’s a good kid, he will. We all did.

Feb 25 2015

I’ll Say Goodbye With A Little Help From My Friends

The more I sift through all of the things that have piled up in my RSS reader, the more it hits me just how much of a lost year 2014 was for us. Like seriously, how in the hell did I not mention that Joe Cocker died? He’s only responsible for the best cover I’ve ever heard. If it’s not the best, it’s way up there.

Truth be told, for years I thought this was Joe’s song. I didn’t learn the real deal until I borrowed a Beatles tape from a friend when I was like 12 or 13. It bothered me that a band who was supposed to be so great and influential would do such a crappy version of a really good tune, so I started asking questions. Once I was clued in it somehow made even less sense, and it was on that day that I began giving far less of a shit about the Beatles.

And then there’s this, which I’m almost positive would be just another one of the world’s zillion cheesy love songs if anyone else sang it.

Don’t ask me why it works so well. It just does. It’s so…believable.

And seeing as it’s in my head now, have a listen to another good one, Up Where We Belong.

I used to think they were singing “The liquor’s up where we belong.” Makes perfect sense if you know some of the people I grew up around.

Feb 23 2015

Another Round Of Fact Or Fiction

Alright, let’s try this Fact or Fiction wrestling thing again. If you missed it the first time, here’s what the hell I’m talking about. And here are the 411 answers from February 11th so you can follow along. Hey, I said I’d do it, not that I’d be punctual about it.

1. Despite backlash from part of the WWE audience, the company will stay the course and main event WrestleMania 31 with Roman Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title.

I’m writing this having not seen all of Fast Lane yet, so I’m going to say yes. that’s what I picked in my prediction contest, so for the sake of me gaining some ground on the people ahead of me I hope that’s what happened. And truth be told, as long as Bryan loses a good, clean, competitive match that makes it look like Reigns truly earned the spot, I have no problem with that. Bryan vs. Brock seems like it would be a much more interesting match, but Brock is Brock and I think Reigns is good enough that they can do something worthwhile especially if we’re given some good, sensible build-up…uh-oh. Considering how the Rumble was handled, that might be a problem. Time to hope for the best, I suppose. Sometimes Wrestlemania season does bring that out of WWE, and this had better be one of those times if they’re not wanting to ruin their can’t miss prospect.

2. You have no interest in WWE booking Chael Sonnen or Wanderlei Silva in any capacity.

Yeah, pretty much that. Bringing Chael in as an announcer could be alright, but I didn’t pay to watch those 2 fight for real so why would I give a shit about them having a wrestling match? Whatever money it would take to bring them in, do something worthwhile and throw it at Brock Lesnar’s new contract instead.

3. Chyna deserves to be in the WWE Hall of Fame.

I was never a fan, but sure she does. She had a pretty good run on her own, plus she was a big part of DX who are probably going in as a group one of these years so if nothing else, that should get her in. I understand why WWE wouldn’t want to put her in though, and it has nothing to do with the flimsy she did porn and kids might Google her type garbage that Triple H gave as reasons for hesitating to induct her. My problem is that she’s fucking nuts. Read some of the things she’s said in tweets and interviews (even the recent ones) and tell me you have no problem putting a working microphone in her hand and saying go to town. Were it up to me I’d have had the same concerns about the much more deserving Ultimate Warrior before his induction, but that worked out just fine. Maybe one day I’ll be saying the same about Chyna. I hope I will, but I don’t think now is the time. She’s still got some shit that needs getting together.

4. You’re more excited for NXT Takeover: Rival than WWE Fast Lane.

I absolutely was, and the NXT show more than delivered. Other than how they handle the main event, Fast Lane just seems like it’s sort of there. It sure as hell doesn’t feel like we’re a shade over a month out from Mania. By now I should be getting excited about something, but that’s not happening.

5. You have no interest in the ROH 13th Anniversary PPV

Hahahahaha, that’s a good one. ROH and NXT feel more like my Wrestlemania right now than Wrestlemania does. I know that no matter what, if I give my money to Ring of Honor I’m going to get a solid night of wrestling and storytelling that isn’t going to make me feel like a fool. I don’t even need a particular match to look forward to, because I know that from top to bottom the effort is going to be there and I’ll be entertained.

6. The Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn video package produced for the NXT Takeover: Rival special is the kind of thing the needs to be done for the main roster feuds.

On the surface, this is an easy yes. I mean watch this thing.

It really made the match feel important, plus it got people who weren’t aware caught up on just enough of the years of history between them to feel like it was more than just some match between a couple of guys that knew each other from somewhere. Whenever you can make something feel like it’s an event you don’t want to miss, you should. But before a video like this can be effective, the story already has to be there. You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit, as the saying goes. With WWE’s love of show to show, don’t worry about the logic holes because nobody will notice booking, there’s a serious lack of times when a put it over the top package would be of any great value. But if they happen upon a good chance to use it, they’d be fools not to.

And that’s it. I’m going to go watch Fast Lane and hopefully not get angry now. Thank you WWE Network for replaying the hell out of it.

Feb 21 2015

I’m An Aunt!

I don’t know why I didn’t write about this last week when it happened, but better late than never.

Last Friday, Friday the 13th, I became an aunt.

Yup, my brother and his wife are now the proud parents of an adorable little boy. I don’t have his picture, although it’s up on Facebook, I know that much.

I haven’t seen him yet, but look forward to it. I wonder what Tansy thinks of babies? No, his toe is not a chew toy.

So yeah, next time we go over to the house where Zoey lives, there’s also a cute baby to see. So exciting!

Feb 21 2015

From Dream Home To Nightmare

Steve said he got this from Michelle, but it looked like one I’d want to post. After getting rid of all the shivers, I agreed.

This Kathy Rowe woman is like the worst combination of Philip Conran and Jennifer Petkov. It all started when a young couple outbid her on a home she really really wanted. I get the idea of having your heart set on something and the feeling of disappointment when you don’t get it. But what this woman did was just…out of this world creepy and dangerous, and she has the gall to say she never meant to harm anyone. How can we be expected to believe that?

Let’s go through the list of things she did, which probably isn’t even a complete list.

  • She relisted the house on the internet using a false name.
  • She signed them up to subscriptions to who knows what and sent them adult diapers.
  • She posted ads for free fireworks, parties and other ads inviting religious organizations over to their house.
  • She also put the woman’s photo up on sex websites, saying she wanted to be surprised and have a man force his way into the house.
  • She distributed leaflets saying a sex-offender had moved into the neighbourhood.
  • She sent Valentine cards around to the neighbour’s wives and made it look like the husband wrote them.

Doing all of those things takes time and effort. I don’t care if she said she snapped. All of this takes a lot of planning. If she didn’t mean to harm anyone, she would have had lots of opportunities to stop and reconsider that doing this stuff probably isn’t going to end well.

I don’t know what it is about this woman, but every time she talks, I envision a small child’s face superimposed over her own, bawling her eyes out and maybe throwing a tantrum. This is not the way a 53-year-old woman should act.

After she did all of that, she got no jail time, which kind of surprises me. Call me heartless for not giving her any mercy on the grounds that her husband was diagnosed with a pretty serious cancer and she had to take care of her daughter, but I would hope that most of us, even under a lot of stress, wouldn’t go to that level to harass someone else. This wasn’t an isolated incident of road rage or a couple of harassing phone calls. This was a campaign of abuse. I think that amount of scary was in there all along, just waiting for the right circumstances to bring it to the surface. She may have been a respected community member at one time, but I personally wouldn’t want her anywhere near any community organizations, ever. Is it wrong that every time she said “I may be the least liked person in San Diego County,” I thought “Yup, that’s a fair and deserving assessment.”?

I just hope the family she harassed can eventually feel safe in their own home, even though they know the woman capable of unleashing this much hell only lives a mile from them. I admire them for staying there, even though leaving would make you feel like she had won. But there’s only so far your principles can go when you’re afraid to open your door because of what could be on the other side, thanks to someone who didn’t have something go their way and can’t handle it.

Feb 21 2015

Talk About A Behavioural Interview

Oops. Let’s hope this never happens to me. Guy is on the train in London. Someone’s in his way. He pushes and shoves him and tells him to go screw himself. He discovers he just swore at his interviewer.

for whatever reason, he didn’t get the job. If that were me, and I figured out who it was that was interviewing me, I think I would have either turned red or white.

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