Camp COVID Is Not A Real Place

I’m certainly not going to sit here and tell you to believe everything the government tells you. That would be silly. Governments lie a lot, and for all kinds of reasons. What I will do, however, is encourage you to use your brains to figure out when it’s ok to take them at their word and when maybe a bit of skepticism might be healthy.

In this case, for instance, it’s fairly obvious what’s going on. People need to quarantine at times. There are rules that say so, and for good reason. But since not everyone has a large, country estate in which they can properly isolate if needed, various levels of government are taking steps to figure out where those folks who don’t can go. They’re doing this by finding space in places like hotels, because where better to put them than somewhere with beds, showers, laundry and kitchen facilities on site? It all makes perfect sense.

What doesn’t make perfect sense is how we go from something as logical as this to oh my god, they’re rounding up Canadians like it’s the 1940s all over again! And yet, here we are.

Canadians will not be forced into COVID-19 internment or containment camps, a spokesperson for Health Minister Patty Hajdu said Tuesday — taking aim at a disinformation campaign that has been circulating on social media for weeks.
The claim that the federal government is preparing to forcibly intern Canadians is patently false, the spokesperson said.
The federal government has announced funding for voluntary quarantine sites for some of the country’s homeless and has made plans to expand self-isolation capacity for returning international travellers without suitable places to go, but Canadians will not be compelled to leave their homes for so-called COVID “camps.”
“The answer is no, we’re not building containment or internment camps,” the spokesperson told CBC News.

CBC News has received dozens of emails from people who fear that the federal government might soon force them into camps as COVID-19 continues to spread.
“I heard there were FEMA camps across the province,” one person wrote to CBC — again using the name of a U.S. federal department. “Did you order tear gas and guillotines?”
(The Department of National Defence is looking to buy tear gas for a Saskatchewan-based facility — exclusively for training purposes.)
“They brought up the internment camps in the Ontario legislature … for the first time in my life I am afraid of my government. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I would be asking this question in Canada,” another email said.
“Mr. Prime Minister are you preparing to put us in internment camps?” asked another. “Will these internment camps also be used to persecute & jail Christians and other undesirables?”
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said Tuesday that he had to personally reassure a young woman during a recent virtual meeting that his government will not remove people from their homes to put them in containment facilities.

By the way, should I have known that Randy Hillier is this much of a kook?

Independent Ontario MPP Randy Hillier, a vocal anti-masker who has likened the current pandemic to a bad flu season, has been warning his eastern Ontario constituents that the federal government is preparing to establish these “camps” for COVID patients.
In a recent exchange at Queen’s Park, Hillier pressed the provincial Progressive Conservative government to detail what it knows about Ottawa’s supposed plan to detain people.
“I ask this government if people should prepare for internment camps,” Hillier asked during question period on Oct. 7.
“Your government must be in negotiations and aware of these plans to potentially detain and isolate citizens and residents of our country and our province,” Hillier said in the provincial legislature on Oct. 9.
“Where will these camps be built, how many people will be detained, and for what reason, for what reasons can people be kept in these isolation camps?”

In a subsequent email to his online followers, Hillier said “the expansion of isolation/quarantine camps in Canada is something of concern.”

Social media has its place in the world. It can do a lot of good. But much like government, there are times when it is absolutely teeming with bullshit. The best way to deal with this is to treat it the same way you should be treating the government and everything else. Use your brain. You don’t always have to react to things immediately. It’s ok to take some time, take a breath and think about what you’re seeing and hearing. Now and then a conspiracy is real, but there are absolutely not hidden agendas lurking around every corner. Try to relax.

I Told You I’d Beat The Pulp Out Of You

I imagine this particular pumpkin was likely meant for carving, but I’m still counting its fate as a food feud because roasted pumpkin seeds are yummy and because pumpkin pie exists.

Police say that when they responded to the couple’s Largo residence, the victim was “covered in pumpkin seeds and pulp.” Garisto, cops noted, was “heavily intoxicated while engaged in a verbal argument with his girlfriend.”
After refusing his girlfriend’s requests to leave the home, Garisto allegedly “threw a pumpkin and all insides of the pumpkin at the subject,” the complaint alleges. When questioned by police, Garisto claimed that he only “threw the pumpkin at the sliding doors,” and not at the victim.

That’s almost certainly a lie, but I know a guy who was drunk enough that he once tripped over an object that didn’t exist and severely broke his leg, so there’s a slim possibility that buddy here does just have really terrible aim.

How Much Is That Baggie In The window

Nice throw, chief.

Stephanie Dowdy, 33, was behind the wheel of a Honda Civic that was pulled over late last night after a cop spotted the vehicle traveling in the middle of a roadway in West Monroe (where Dowdy resides).
While approaching from the Honda’s passenger side, a deputy was struck in the leg by a plastic bag thrown out the passenger window. The bag, a probable cause affidavit states, contained about half-a-gram of “suspected Methamphetamine.”

Dowdy initially claimed that she didn’t throw anything, but since she was alone in the car at the time it’s unclear if the errant toss was supposed to be the fault of ghosts or the god damn wind.

Eventually she did confess to throwing it because duh, and was charged with felony narcotics possession and obstruction of justice. Police also cited her for driving without a license and improper use of a lane while they were at it.

Where’s My Remote Control

Would you call 911 if you lost your remote control? Someone did.
Before we load up the shame cannon and rain scorn down upon this poor sap, I feel like we need the answer to a question that goes unanswered here. What was he stuck watching? If there’s an acceptable reason why the little buttons most televisions have just for times like this couldn’t solve the problem, it may well have been a legitimate emergency situation. Before you argue with me, I would just like to say Dr. Oz marathon. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

“Yes, we actually received a 9-1-1 call reporting a lost remote control,” an officer said in a Tweet. “Please remember to only call 9-1-1 in an emergency!” 
In a subsequent Tweet, police confirmed the caller did, in fact, find their remote eventually.

Thank god.

And The Award For New Dumbest Fraud That Apparently Actually Works Goes To…

I’m struggling to figure out how this scam works. Not because of its extreme level of sophistication or anything like that, but because try as I might, I can’t imagine a scenario in which even as a naive high school student I could manage to be this much of a maroon.

City police fraud detectives are warning of a scheme in which scammers target high school students offering money for nothing if they hand over their bank card and PIN.
“Peer pressure is used to recruit them as well as the promise of easy money,” the organized fraud unit warned Wednesday.

The suspects approach teens through friends or social media and offer them money in return for the loan of their card. Then they deposit the cash from another fraud into the teen’s account and immediately withdraw it.
The teen victim is then responsible for the withdrawn cash when the bank realizes the deposit was fraudulent.

I need to know so much more about this peer pressure. I realize people can be persuasive especially when you’re young, but how little self-confidence must you have if “come on man, everybody’s doing it” is causing you to cough up your PIN? Don’t give your PIN to anyone is the first thing you learn when you’re given control of a bank account. If it isn’t, you should probably be taken away from whomever is in charge of you.

If the idea is that the scammers are going out of their way to target only the slowest kids, then maybe you’ve got something. But otherwise? Just…no. 🤦‍♂️

Experts, Everyone

I’m so glad we have experts. I really do mean that. They play a vital role in our understanding of many things. But sometimes I feel like we throw around the word far too often, to the point where anyone who spits out anything that’s half sensible is suddenly qualified to let us all in on the secrets of life.

For example, this expert here who gets an entire article on KitchenerToday to inform us that, and I hope you’re sitting down for this one, if we trust the person telling us something, we’re more likely to take that thing seriously.

Are you ok? Talk to me. You fainted. It’s all right. So did I. I’ll get the smelling salts.

Whether you decide to follow pandemic protocols or not, much of what guides that decision may come down to trust.
At the start of the first wave, the politicians were still the ones calling all the shots, and that may have caused some of us to be more sceptical.
Ontario Premier Doug Ford, at the time, had been seeing his favourables shrink, weighed down in large part by protracted strike action from all of the province’s major teachers unions.
However, as the pandemic took hold, and as Ford took a step back, his polling numbers took a jump. Similar spikes were also seen in provinces and territories across the country and at the federal level too.

Ashley Rose Mehlenbacher teaches English Language and Literature at the University of Waterloo, she says much of that may have to do with seeing our leaders in a new light.
“So we might have some initial feelings about someone or why we didn’t trust them in a particular context, we might find that, over time, they prove themselves to be trustworthy in this new context,” said Mehlenbacher. “And I think we’ve seen that in a few cases right, where maybe folks initially didn’t trust someone fully or had some reservations and they saw this person did a really good job so that changed over time.”

And it goes on like that. I don’t know why, but that’s what it does. I need an expert on unnecessary content to help me suss that out, perhaps.

And I don’t want to quibble over someone’s life experience and credentials, but what makes somebody who teaches English and literature an expert on human psychology? Maybe she’s just good at reading people. Cool. So am I. But that makes me about as qualified to be a quoted, expert psychoanalyst as her having read the Great Gatsby a few times does.

I Bring This Stuff Everywhere. You Can Never Be Too Careful With So Many Thieves Around

Rare is the day when I actively hope that a person is homeless, but today is that day. Because if this woman wasn’t, what was she thinki…never mind. I really ought to know better than this by now.

A 23-year-old Guelph woman has been charged after police say she brought several bags of stolen property with her to the courthouse on Tuesday.
Police say a woman was seen “carrying several bags of property and acting suspiciously.”
Police spoke with her about her behaviour and the property. Police say the bags contained identity documents, tools used for break and enters and stolen property.
“It is alleged that items in the bags the Guelph woman was carrying were linked to six different thefts from vehicle incidents that had been reported in the last two weeks.

She has been hit with a slew of charges, including possessing identity documents, possession of break and enter instruments, possession of stolen property, breaching an undertaking and two counts of breaching an order of recognizance.

Police say that some of the stolen property has been returned to its rightful owners. My money’s on the identity documents.

Excellent! It’s The Not Getting Away Car, Right On Schedule

Old story is old, but ones like it rarely fail to amuse me to some degree and it’s been a slow couple of days round these parts, so here we are.

LaSalle police had an easy arrest Monday at Windsor Crossings Premium Outlets after an alleged shoplifter mistakenly got into their unmarked police vehicle.
Officers responded to the outlet mall around 3 p.m. to look for the shoplifter, described as a woman wearing a pink hijab and carrying a blanket-covered baby seat. 
A detective waited in his vehicle outside the store — but when the suspect exited, she walked directly to the unmarked police car and tried to get in the back seat.
She had apparently mistaken the vehicle for the one that was supposed to pick her up.

A 35-year-old woman was arrested and charged with theft and possession of stolen property. Police say that they’ve dealt with her previously, so perhaps this whole wrong car business was as much instinct as it was anything else.

If This Were Real…

Shouldn’t all of the matches on wrestling preshows have time limits? If what I’m watching is supposed to be a legitimate contest, how does anyone know that it’s for sure going to be over by the top of the hour when the actual event is scheduled to start? What happens if one day you send a match out there with 20 minutes left to fill and a 60 minute classic breaks out? You can’t stop it for no reason, can you? I suppose technically you can, but you shouldn’t unless your goal is to do something that sucks. It’s a small detail, but sometimes those are important assuming credibility matters to you.