Airport Security Logic Strikes Again

Good lord this is stupid.

So the United States and I assume some other countries have security policies in place to prevent people from bringing dangerous bottles of water or tubes of lotion into airports or onto planes. I’ve never quite understood why, but that really doesn’t matter. It especially doesn’t matter now that I’ve learned that you can take that stuff through security as long as you do one thing first. Freeze it solid. Seriously.

That’s right, it’s not breaking the TSA’s pesky 3-1-1 rule if the drink is frozen — just make sure it’s completely frozen. According to the TSA, if the liquid is even partially melted or slushy, it needs to meet 3-1-1 liquid requirements. Here’s the agency’s wording:
Frozen liquid items are allowed through the checkpoint as long as they are frozen solid when presented for screening. If frozen liquid items are partially melted, slushy, or have any liquid at the bottom of the container, they must meet 3-1-1 liquids requirements.

I have no idea why it makes a difference or what makes liquid any less dangerous once it thaws or for that matter why nobody’s figured out that it’s much easier to beat someone to death with a frozen water bottle than it is a room temperature one, but there ya go.

Happy 40th Birthday, Q107

I just learned something that blew my mind a little bit.

If you’re like me, knowing what you know about Toronto’s best rock Q107 which turned 40 years old yesterday, you would probably guess that the first song the station ever played would be something by Rush or the Who or Neil Young or the Stones or Zeppelin or Sabbath. But no. That honour goes to, of all things, “Hard Rock Town” by Murray McLauchlan.

I won’t bash the choice since it’s a decent song and it wound up being appropriate, but seriously, I could have sat here guessing songs all day long and not come up with that.

If you want to hear what things sounded like on May 22nd, 1977, Toronto Mike has some audio.

Man, station launches used to be a whole lot more understated than they’ve become today.

In My Day, There Was No Such Thing As A Millennial…

Whenever I hear about millennials, I kind of raise my eyebrows, knowing that some of them are close to my age. I can’t imagine that these people that aren’t that much younger than me could be so different. Well, it appears that they aren’t that much different, at least the older half of them.

I could never figure out why, with a snap of a finger, we had a whole new type of people. Finally, something has explained what may have made the change, and why the younger millennials do fit into the description we hear about, and it kind of makes sense.

Yeesh. I wonder what the next clump of kids will be like and what they’ll be called.

It’s Official. You’re Not Going To Heaven

So we were checking out Jonathan Coulton’s new album, Solid State, which might need a post of its own. Anyway, we listened to it on Spotify. A few months ago, Spotify rolled out a new feature called Album Radio. When the album’s done, it makes you a mix of other stuff you might enjoy. I wish there was a way to turn it on and off, because sometimes I just want to listen to an album as a complete unit and then stop and think about it.

But it’s not a totally bad feature, because it introduced me to Bo Burnham. Steve had heard his stuff, and I had heard his name when people called him “the new Tom Lehrer” but I’d never heard any of his music. That is going to change and fast, because I think he’s awesome.

Here’s a song that won’t stop playing in my head, and it sums up so much of what I’ve said about religion before. I almost think it should be the soundtrack to this old post.

Here are the lyrics if you need them.

If you think he’s funny, go listen to all the things. I obviously have missed out for years…always late to the party.

I Found A Good Yoga Class

So, I’ve mentioned a few times in passing that I’ve tried yoga and liked it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done it. I’ve wanted to, but I’m not going to lie, I was nervous about the initial introduction where the instructor potentially freaks out and says she can’t teach me and I’ll take so much help. I know that only happened once, and we ended up being pretty good together, but it’s the fear that it’s going to happen that discourages me. I don’t know what it is, but as I get older, I become less willing to put myself out there and fight for what I want. I hate that about me, but it is what it is. If I really need something, I will fight tooth and nail for it, but I don’t feel like fighting for something that’s supposed to be fun and stress-relieving.

Then, I saw a note on my awesome job’s announcements page saying that we were going to have yoga over lunch once a week in the office. I have seen it before, and thought about it, but I never wanted to give up a lunch hour. My secondary reason was I did not want to humiliate myself in front of coworkers…yeah, because that’s logical, sure.

This time, when I saw it, I gave it a little more consideration and read the description, and the description actually said they teach to all abilities, and even mentioned vision impairment. I was so moved I almost cried…and I took the plunge and signed up.

And I don’t regret it. The instructor is friggin great! She says she teaches so that people can actually follow along with their eyes closed, and it works. And if I get it wrong, she’ll just come over and sort of help me out a smidge. During the most recent session, she actually told me that I was doing super well…so you know that she’s explaining things really clearly, because if anyone is going to get confused, it’s me. Does anyone else find some yoga teachers explain poses in a really strange way? They talk about scooping and lifting your heart and opening your chest and all these really strange descriptions that don’t make sense if you’re not watching them…at least for me. This instructor is really straightforward and finds a couple of different ways to describe the same thing…until we get it.

I’m noticing a few things. I can definitely feel I’m getting older, because it’s harder to do the things that just felt good when I did it the last time. Or maybe I should say I can definitely notice I haven’t done yoga in 12 years. That’s probably more the thing. I also have to remind myself to get in the right breathing rhythm more than I did before. But it feels good to be doing it again. Maybe when this class is over, I’ll find an evening class to keep it going…or maybe check out those Yoga for the Blind mp3’s you can get. All I know is I don’t want to stop doing it just because I’m feeling kinda shy.

Shmans even seems to enjoy it…although she really hopes that my yoga mat is her bed. No. Good guess, but no. I’m happy to say that I’ve never found her compelled to get up and give me a great big smooch while I’m in a downward dog or something. I guess she was giving the instructor funny looks some of the time. I wonder what she’s thinking. Maybe it’s because, at the end of the session, the instructor goes around and puts a little dab of essential oil on the hands of people who want it. Maybe the Shmans thinks it’s some kind of treat. Weirdo! I do know that she’s extra wiggly after we’re done.

If anyone in the KW area is interested in yoga, they should really check out Active Souls. They’re pretty awesome.

Medical Love Song

Remember when I wrote the post about the doctor making a rap about STD’s and seniors? If she really wanted to scare her patients, she could just play them this.

She could even give them the lyrics and gross them out even more. And hey, that song’s a little older, so maybe some of them might remember it.

I’m kidding, that rap was great…it just made me think of this song. I remember the first time I heard it, I was completely weirded out and really didn’t know what to say except eeeeewwww!

Bee Afraid, Bee Very Afraid!

When I saw this story about a swarm of unknown insects flying through parts of London, All I could think was “Aaaa! Black Mirror!” I know these things were live bee-like things, but still. I’m not alone in this, other articles mentioned the thought too.

We still don’t know why, but there are lots of videos of parts of London where people are trying to dodge swarms of bees, or wasps, or something.

You know how I feel about bees anyway, and then add in the Black Mirror comparison, and…eek!

Looking at all these posts about bees, I’m wondering if I need to make a bees tag.

Meet Scarface And His Owner Scartorso

There is so much about this story that makes me go “wow.” First, somebody had a pit bull and they named it Scarface. To me, this sounds like they think of him as kind of mean. Maybe picking the name was random, or he had a weird scar on his face for some innocent reason and they thought it would be funny, but it kind of sounds like they wanted him to be not the friendliest beast in the world.

Then one day, they decided to put a sweater on him. It did not go well at all.

According to WFTS, a pit bull mix named Scarface bit Brenda Guerrero when she tried to get the sweater on him. Scarface then attacked her husband, Ismael Guerrero, when he tried to pull him off of Brenda.

At this point, the Guerrero’s adult son, Antoine Harris, tried to come to the rescue by stabbing Scarface in the head with a knife. This only resulted in Harris getting attacked and all three people eventually ran into the house and left Scarface in the backyard.
Animal Control and police then showed up and found that they also had their hands full with Scarface, who was at this point appeared unstoppable.
“Officers responding said the dog was pretty aggressive,” Eddy Durkin with Tampa police said. “When they tazed the dog the dog was still pulling away and was able to release the prongs from the tazer.”
When Animal Control and Tampa Police arrived to the home, the dog was shot with a tranquilizer gun.

What on earth would make them think it’s a good idea to try and put a friggin sweater on their dog? I don’t know of a dog who likes that, unless maybe they’ve had it done since they were a puppy, but I don’t think that’s the case here.

More importantly, what would make them think it was a good idea to put a sweater on a great big pit bull? I know everybody who has pit bulls says they get a terrible reputation, but they’re really sweet dogs…and all that, but they named a pit bull Scarface. I still think when you get a big ol’ pit bull and call it Scarface, you don’t want a cutesy wootsy cuddly pet. You want an aggressive or at least protective animal. I know lots of protective animals wouldn’t try to chomp their owners, but I wonder about how much actual training these owners gave it.

This makes me think of all the people who haven’t a clue about the signals their pets are sending. I don’t know how many people I hear say “Oh, he’s just friendly, wanting to play,” while their dog is growling and snarling. The dog probably gave them all kinds of warnings before it bit them and they didn’t even notice.

And…come on now, they tried to put the dog in a damn sweater! I don’t want to see anyone get mangled, but I kind of feel sorry for the dog.

Lol Im Suin Ur Ass 4 Teh Movie

On one hand,I have a feeling Brandon Vezmar might be a little bit nuts. But on the other, I’m totally on board with the logic behind suing a failed date for $17.31 for the cost of a movie ticket and pizza because she chose texting over the date you paid for. Seriously, if you can’t put your damn phone down for even the time it takes to watch a movie in public, there’s something the matter with you.

Brandon Vezmar, 37, met the woman, 35, on Bumble, a dating app and went with her on a first date to see Guardians of the Galaxy on May 6, according to the American-Statesman. Vezmar said that the woman began texting in the first 15 minutes and continued after he requested that she stop. When he asked her to take it outside, she did so and then left the theatre, leaving him without a ride as they had arrived together in her car.
“It was kind of a first date from hell,” Vezmar told the American-Statesman. His claim stated that the woman “activated her phone 10-20 times in 15 minutes to read and send text messages.”
“I’ve seen people get kicked out of movies for this,” he said.

Vezmar’s claim alleged that the texting was a “direct violation of the theater’s policy” and that by texting, Vezmar’s date “adversely” affected both his experience and that of other movie patrons.
“While damages sought are modest, the principle is important as defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society,” the suit said.

As for her side of the story, she says she doesn’t have to pay him because he took her out on a date and that it wasn’t twenty times, it was three.

“I had my phone low and I wasn’t bothering anybody,” she said.

Anybody?

She also says she plans to file for an order of protection against Vezmar because he’s been bothering her sister about it (see nuts, probably).

“This is crazy. He has escalated the situation far past what any mentally healthy person would. I feel sorry that I hurt his feelings badly enough that he felt he needed to commit so much time and effort into seeking revenge. I hope one day he can move past this and find peace in his life,” she said in a statement to the media.

Maybe try giving him his 18 bucks back?

Does It End?

If you’ve ever seen Glen Foster do stand-up (if you haven’t you should), the words rap master probably wouldn’t be the first that came to mind if you tried to describe him. But don’t tell him that, at least not in 1986.

I wanted to share a little “blast from the past” with you.  Something I recently came upon while cleaning out my mother’s house.

In 1986, I recorded a rap parody called, “Does it end?”.   It was inspired by the RUN DMC / Aerosmith “Walk This Way” collaboration, although it is more in the style of Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight”    Anyway, if you want to give a listen, I have put it up on Soundcloud   Enjoy.

PS:  This was actually pressed on vinyl as 45 RPM  and I now have about 500 copies.  Not sure what I am going to do with them.  But stay tuned.

Going way out on a limb here I’m sure, but I bet he tries to sell them.