Cleanin Out The Old Inbox

Wow, I actually went a day without posting anything. Yesterday was the first time since the site went live that I missed one. Not that it matters though since Matt seems to have things well in hand, filling up the weekend quite nicely. Maybe it matters to those of you who don’t like Matt and just come here to read my stuff but let’s be serious here, I don’t think that happens too much, if at all. If it does, then I hope all my fans will show Matt some love in the future.

I didn’t see the last game of the World Series and I pretty much missed the Leaf game completely so I’m not going to talk about them. I am however going to give mad props to my friend Tim’s Dad’s homemade wine. Christ but did that stuff mess me up good. What I’m getting at here is that I’ve pretty much been out of the loop on news sports and other things since Saturday afternoon and I’m just now getting caught up after spending the morning cleaning my place up so it looks like people should live in it again. As much as cleaning sucks, it’s always cool to know that you’re having to clean because you had fun. That makes it a little easier to take while you’re on your knees scrubbing spilled drinks off the floor.

Why is it that whenever you decide to step away from the things that you normally do and have some fun or do something unexpected that all your friends decide that they need to get ahold of you at the same time? I swear they must have a meeting or something or that there must be psychic powers involved somewhere. I’m so behind on reading email right now it’s not even funny. Hey, I just got more. So if you’ve written me and haven’t heard back one of 2 things is happening. Either A, I don’t like you and wish you’d leave me alone or B, your reply is coming I just have to dig your message out of the pile. Speaking of the pile, if you’d like to contribute to it in an interesting way, you can do so
here.

Man, this is a really random post and something tells me that that isn’t going to be changing but don’t worry, there’s jokes in here so stick with it.

I’m glad to see that somebody else is as upset as I am about Fred Durst and his Who cover. This was posted on the comment boards, which all of you can feel free to use by the way.

“AAARGH

I didn’t know until now that Limp Bizkit had covered The Who. Is nothing sacred anymore???? It makes me retch that durst is using this song to try and prove
that he can sing. they’ve now sunken even lower in my esteem. I LOVE THE WHO”
Posted Sat 25 Oct 4:28 PM GMT by karine

Sorry to ruin your day like that, Karine. And by the way, if any of you are finished reading everything here and want something else to look at, why not try
Karine’s blog?
All I ask is that you come back here when you’re done and see if we’ve posted anything new. Odds are that either we have or we haven’t, do with that info what you will. Thanks again to all of the people who’ve been checking out the site so far, we’re doing some ok numbers here, at least I think they’re ok.

Ok, now for those jokes I promised you. People like to send me jokes, so I’m going to go through my mail and pick out some of the better ones and share them with you all.

Q: Why is it so difficult to solve a redneck murder?

A: The DNA is all the same..
———-
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the
front porch with her bags packed.

He asked her where she was going and she replied,

“I’m going to Las Vegas.”

He asked her why she was going to Vegas and she told him,

“I just found out that as a woman I can make $400 a night doing
what I give you for free.”

So the man went into the house, packed his bags and returned to
the porch.

“And just where do you think you are going?” His wife asked.

“I’m going to Vegas too!” he replied.

“Why?” she asked.

“I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year!”
———-
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the
first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second
house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the
door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed
orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under
the cup’s bottom edge.

“All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.” He said, “Fuck him, give him a dollar.” The lady then said,
“The breakfast was my idea.”
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a man who stutters and a homosexual?

A: One has a wreck in his dictum…
———-
Ok, last one for now. A friend of mine sent it to me and kind of asked me to post it, probably to make me look like a tool. Oh well, I’m not above making myself look like an ass so here goes. It’s funny, in that stupid sort of way and besides, it’s a costume joke, so it fits the theme.

A man turns up at a fancy costume party with a condom on his nose, to which everyone asks, “what on earth have you come as?”

The man replies, “Fuck knows!”
———-
Ok person who sent me that, I hope you’re reading this and saw that I actually did post it. And for anybody who didn’t get it, try reading it out loud, maybe that’ll help.

If you’ve got a joke of your own that you think I might like, leave it in the comments spot at the end of this post. If I see anything good that I think should be up here on the main site, that’s where it’ll go.

I’ll be back later on hopefully with something a little more focused. For now, it’s time to catch up on the mail.

Steve

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