The Movies, And Some Other Crap

Well hello there boys and girls. Haven’t seen me around much lately have you? Well I’m sorry, just been busy is all. Much love to Matt though for bringing the content as he always does and getting the comment boards happening. Good to see those things being put to good use, at least most of the time it’s good use. Let’s just call it reasonable use and leave it at that, how does that sound? Smashing? Fantastic then, let’s move on.

If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out
Blind Error,
now with snazzy new commenting features and super amazing hit counting action! By the way A Man, I had no idea that you were into that sort of thing, not that there’s anything wrong with that, Ha! But seriously, hit that link when you’re done with all of this, it’s worth your time. The man is a crazy nut, but a crazy nut who can write, even without a working B on his computer. The man’s insane!

Not sure what I can add to the Me For President saga, Matt seems to have handled that one just fine. But this goes out to all Americans, if you’re wanting your next President to be as dumb as your current one, I think you’ve found your candidate.

I should also note that I was shamed and humiliated on Monday night by of all people, my very own girlfriend who proved to me that she could piss and whistle Christmas tunes at the same time. I’m not sure if the physics are different for each gender since the peeing positions are different, or if it was just the fact that I was somewhat drunk at the time when I first tried the experiment, but I have been shown up and I’m not a happy man.

Ok, movies. I figured that what with all the talk about movies around here lately, it would only be right for me to chime in with some thoughts. My thoughts are pretty much this, I hate movies. Well not all movies, just most of what’s being passed to us as entertainment these days. A lot of it just plain doesn’t interest me and I don’t feel any sort of great need to go and watch most of what’s out there, even when it hits the video store. But more than that, I’m just not a fan of the movie theatre experience. By the way, before anybody starts jumping all over me, I spelled theatre right, that’s how it’s done in my country. But like I said, I don’t like movie theatres.

First of all, you have to pay 10 bucks just to get in the door to watch something that’s probably not going to be worth 10 cents. Then you have to buy food, which is another 6 bucks. I suppose you don’t have to buy food but I figure that if I’m going to be here, I may as well get something enjoyable for the money I’m spending. Then you get to your seat to watch your film of choice and they have the nerve to show you commercials. What the hell is that? I’m not talking about the coming attractions, that’s fine, it’s good to know what’s coming out so you know when not to come back. What I’m talking about are the ads for actual products. There’s absolutely no need for that, and every time I go to the show, it seems like there are more and more of them. I would have absolutely no problem with this if they were letting me in for free, but they aren’t. I’ve already paid $16 for the privelege of being here, you don’t need any sponsor support when your entire customer base have already given you assloads of money for the same reason. Let’s say that you can get 200 people into 1 theatre to watch a movie. I just pulled that number out of my ass, every place is different. So 200 people times 16 bucks plus multiple showings at that same rate. That all adds up to, um, quite a bit, my math sucks, I’m not even gonna try that. But I do know that it does add up to more money than I’ll probably see in my entire lifetime, and that’s just in one year, maybe even less. Not only that, but I don’t see why we need these commercials in the first place. They aren’t telling us anything new. They aren’t making us aware of anything we didn’t already know, other than how pissed off we are at having to sit through them. There is absolutely no need for the cute little coke cartoon. I was perfectly aware of the availability of CocaCola seeing as I just finished paying 4 bucks for a 37 gallon drumb of the stuff on my way in.

Ok, the commercials are over now and your movie begins, at the same time as somebody’s phone starts ringing or some jackass decides to be cute and start firing popcorn at your head. Wait, that’s video night with the family when I was a kid. Ok ok ok, it does happen at the movies too, and it drives me nuts. Why would somebody pay good money to come to a public place like this and then sit and talk loudly on the phone with somebody who they could have just gone and visited for free? And what is to be gained from throwing food at somebody, other than getting that person to be quiet, or getting your own ass kicked? Not much, but it happens.

I haven’t been to the movies in over a year and honestly, I’m not going back any time soon. When I do I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t be my own idea. It just isn’t any fun, even when you’re drunk. Just trust me on this one. Remember “Dude Where’s My Car?” Not even an afternoon of drinking could make that movie funny, and I can find humour in just about any situation.

Ok, this post is getting long and I have to get back to doing productive things now so I’ll end here. Comment at will, but if you’re looking for a place to start shit and be stupid this isn’t it. If you really insist on being an idiot somewhere, try
here.
Sorry man, couldn’t resist. It’s all in good fun.

Later all.

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