Ok, so after seeing Matt try to save this relationship, I too decided to take Karine’s advice and use the Bitch Letter Generator to respond. Matt, you need to realize that this is over and there’s nothing you can do about it, unless somebody can come up with a program that can generate something really nice.
Dear, Worthless Penis
I’ve been putting up with your crap for months, and, unable to verbalize my
feelings in a manner in which you would understand, put the matter
aside until I could conjur up a more focused thought to bear.
In a nutshell, you are worthless.
And another thing, If you ever want to listen to another fucking Howlin’ Wolf record,
then you’d better stop leaping out of the goddamn closet and freaking me out, or
I’ll sell you into slavery. Not that you’ll be any good.
your ever loving dominator