They’re Comin’ Fast Now

Well everybody’s favourite evil do-er, Satan, has chimed in with some more rejected Christmas Carols for us all to enjoy.

Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged (981C2303 DOC)

SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA
I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC
Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

MANIA
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn
(or)
Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense

PARANOIA
Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER
You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout,
then MAYBE I’ll tell you why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,

Or there’s my favorite

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Got that way by drinking beer
One nite crashed Santa’s sleigh
Cause he was way too drunk to steer

All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names
Cause he was the funnel faced reindeer
When they all played drinking games

Then one drunken Christmas eve, Santa came to say
Who puked on the childrens toys
Think of all the sad girls and boys

Then all the reindeer got mad
And they shouted out you tool.
But they couldn’t laugh at poor Rudolph
When he landed the sleigh in the pool.

He later died of liver disease
Merry Christmas

Thank you, Satan. You may now return to the bowels of hell where you came from. It’s a very posh area, isn’t it?

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