Aww.. I’ll Do It Tomorrow…

Hey all,
Well here it is. Dec 6 and I’m finally getting around to writing something for you. First of all. Happy New Year everyone. I hope you all had a good holiday. I had a great Christmas and an even great week following that for a wide array of reasons… none of which are really any of your business.

On Saturday I went with “someone” to the CN Tower as they’d never been there before cuz they live out of town. I’ve been to this thing a bunch of times and happen to think after the first visit, it’s a gigantic waste of time AND MONEY to ever go again but being the gentleman that I am I offered to take her, and pay.

Let me elaborate on why I think its such a waste of time. IT’S A BIG FREAKIN’ POLL! You go up super high, look out the window, go “wow, that’s pretty high. hyuck!” and go back down. Don’t get me wrong. I think you gotta do it once if you’re ever in T.O. but it’s not something that you need to do again. I know people who go every time they come here… we’re talking like 5 or 6 times a year. It’s still just a big poll.

I went for the first time when I was probably around 8 or 9 or something with my Aunt and Uncle and I had a great time. It was really cool. You can see for a long way, check out the lights if you’re up there at night and there’s some other neat little displays. I loved it. I just don’t see why you would want to do it more than once. Yet, since i have so many friends from out of town, I seem to end up there at least once a year. Anyway…

The line is absolutely insane which i’m not sure if I should be surprised about. It was a Saturday afternoon but it was towards the end of the holiday season so you wouldn’t think there’d be that many tourists still around. And besides, what American consciously goes to ‘ICE COLD” Canada in the winter. I got up to the counter and there are only two of us – myself and my “date”. Now, they have an arcade and a theatre and lazer tag and shit and we weren’t in to that. We just wanted the package that got you up to the observation deck and the lookout and glass floor and stuff. So that’s the package she gave us… Without all that extra stuff IT STILL WAS CLOSE $100!!! Absolute craziness.

So you start walking through these different displays and stuff on your way over to the elevators as its all set up pretty nicely. I wasn’t paying much attention since, as I said earlier, I’ve seen them all a bunch of times but she was taking them all in so it was alright. We round this corner and some preppy woman who works there yells “SMILE!” and FLASH!!! she fries our retinas with a picture we didn’t ask for, agree to, or particularly want. I don’t enjoy having my picture taken PERIOD. So I don’t really enjoy having complete strangers take a picture of me to hang in the gift shop for me to go and BUY later. I brought a camera, thanks!

No matter how many times I go to the Tower, I always seem to enjoy the trip up… especially watching those who have never done it. You’re travelling at about 55km per hour strait upwards and you can feel it the hole time. And I love the windy days (which this was) because the tower sways. I mean you’re standing in a big giant rod pointed strait in to the air so the entire tower sways while you’re in it a bit because of the wind. So you’re going strait upwards at 55km/h and swaying and there’s always one woman who looks like she’s gonna throw up or scream or something…. and they’re my entertainment for the trip.

So, I’ve been pretty cynical up until this point about the trip but once you’re up there with someone who’s never been there before.. it usually gets a bit better as you can tell they’re enjoying it. The lines, the money, they annoying picture taking is all behind you and you can at least try to enjoy yourself. We went outside and walked around the deck… took a few pictures of the scenery, ourselves, people that we thought looked funny.. just whatever we felt like. Then we went to the next floor… or the glass floor and boy do I got something to say about that!

For those of you who have never been to the Tower they have something called the Glass Floor which is actually a really really cool idea. You walk out on to this part of the floor which is all glass and see through so you’re looking down at the ground as you walk around. It’s supposed to give the elusion of walking on air or freak people out or whatever. it’s something different for everyone. Some people will go out and lay down on their stomachs to simulate a free fall, some sit on it, some just walk around, and others sneak up behind their nervous significant others and press down on their shoulders to try and freak them out. It’s something different for all and it really is a great idea…. if you weren’t allowing retards up there.

In some people there seems to be a mentality of “I wonder what the stupidest thing I could do right here would be…”. Well that of course is to jump on the glass floor and try and break it.

Don’t get me wrong because I don’t for a second think that the CN Tower and the engineerers that designed this thing didn’t take that into consideration and design it to withstand more weight and force then this group of human beings could put on it so it’s not a nerves thing and thinking it will break. It’s an annoyance thing.

There’s nothing more irritating than walking on this thing and trying to take pictures or talk then having kids jump and stomp on it all around you. Scratch that… yes there is something more annoying and that would be the teenagers and young adults doing it. What baffles me even more is WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN? If SOMEHOW you do break it you’re going to fall like a kilometer out of the sky on to some guy’s hood and your’e not gonna feel like stomping anywhere. I mean it’s not like it will shatter and you’ll go “yup, i did it” it will be more like you die and your friends will go “yup, he’s an idiot.”

Like I said, it’s not going to break but I just don’t understand what you’d have to be thinking to try to jump as high as you can and land on it hoping to be the one true retard who finally breaks it.. cuz in the long run it’s gonna be the one laughing.

So we walked around a bit more and when we had had enough of the decay of society all crammed in to one giant silo we decided to leave. Keep in mind that they have up elevators and down elevators meaning you go down in a different one you came up in. Guess where the down elevators let you out? Yup! right in the giftshop. How convenient right? Well sort of except that it’s a bloody maze and unless you buy something you will never find the exit. To be fair… not EVERYTHING was wildly over price… just most of it. We did find a very nice CN tower stuff bear thing that wasn’t heinously over priced that you could then take to the counter, pay for and THEN the people who work there and more than happy to show you where the exit is. (it’s up the stairs around to the left of the elevators if you ever go!)

So, all in all it wasn’t bad other than those select few who would like to dive a mile and a half to their death on Front Street below. Like I said, if you’ve never been it’s worth it…. but if you’ve seen it I don’t know why you’d wanna go back. Take a ladder on your roof if you just wanna say I was up high today.

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