>A New Twist On An Old Favourite, And Some Other Things I’m Not Even Gonna Try To Figure Out

>And now it’s time for another exciting edition of Steve Looks Through The Hit Counter Logs, Finds Interesting Search Terms, Uses His Copy And Paste Functions, Does Some Basic HTML, Thinks Of Some Wise Ass Comments And Writes Them Down, Then Posts Them For The Enjoyment Of Anybody Who Still Actually Reads This Site. I like that name, it’s got a nice ring to it, slides right off the tongue. Anyway, now that we’ve all spent the last 27 minutes saying the name, let’s play!

For anybody who doesn’t know what this is by now, here’s a quick explanation of what’s happening here.

Every day, people use search engines to find all sorts of things. Anything you can think of and most likely a lot of things that you can’t or just plain don’t want to think of can be found on this great big world wide web of ours. Sometimes, they can even be found here, or at least people think that they can because the search engines make it look that way. So not knowing exactly what they’re getting into, people click the link and land somewhere on this site. As soon as they do, our trusty stats machine logs what they searched for and saves it for me to see. In really simple terms, the system tells me why they clicked through to our site, showing me the exact words that got them here. This, as you can probably imagine, is where the explanation ends and the fun begins. Here is the best of what’s come through recently.

10 Jul, Sat, 04:37:10
Yahoo:
free pictures of Randy Orton’s penis

This one just won’t go away, but I have to give these people credit, they’re continuing to try new and creative ways of getting what they want. Take this latest example for instance. Instead of searching for young Randy’s actual penis, this obviously well-educated and reasonable individual has quite logically surmised that while locating a real celebrity penis on the internet would be basically futile, finding a picture of the organ in question is certainly well within the realm of possibility and apparently worth the effort that people continue to exert day after day in the hopes of finding what appears to be the holy grail of male genitalia.

Since I have no idea how to segway out of something like that, we’ll just move on.

10 Jul, Sat, 19:12:22
MSN Search:
adult males who masterbate together

Because we all know that the best way to find acceptance for who you really are is anonymously through the internet.

11 Jul, Sun, 03:43:06
Yahoo:
circumcision preppy

If anybody from the What The Fuck Department is reading this, you know what to do.

11 Jul, Sun, 11:54:03
MSN Search:
animated fucking clips

I wonder if this guy is looking for animated fucking clips or animated fucking clips. I’m sure that one is going to go right over the heads of a few of you. Just read it again and think about the 2 possible meanings of the sentence. If you need another hint, no matter what meaning you go with, this person is obviously frustrated in one form or another.

12 Jul, Mon, 01:19:59
MSN Search:
pam anderson sucking

While many would probably look at a search request such as this as no more than another pervert looking to get his wack on, I beg to differ. This individual is obviously seeking information on the cinematic masterpiece known as “Barbed Wire.” If you don’t believe me, watch the film and tell me what’s going on there if it isn’t sucking.

13 Jul, Tue, 16:48:40
Yahoo: “
lance armstrong” bisexual

I don’t know whether he is or he isn’t, but it’s a good thing that he’s really fast on a bike since he’ll need that speed to get away from groupies from both genders now. Do cyclists even have groupies? I don’t know, but it kind of makes me think twice about the real motives of all of those people who say that they’re behind him all the way.

And that does it for another exciting edition of Steve Looks Through The Hit Coun…the hell I’m writing all of that out again.

I’ll talk to you all soon…I hope.

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