We’re Doing This Again Already

Here’s what I was trying to post when everything started fucking up. The references to weather are about Tuesday, I’m just too lazy to edit all of that out and change the flow so you get it as is.

Before I start doing this search term thing again I need to ask a question. Why is it that the coolest day of the Summer is the stickiest? It’s like 15 degrees outside but it’s humid as hell. I really have no understanding of weather beyond hot and cold so if somebody would like to explain this to me I’d be forever in your debt. Ok so maybe not forever, but at least until I get what I need and make it look like I’ve given you something in return. Hey, that’s kind of the way I handle most things come to think of it, just ask all of my ex girlfriends! Ok ok, I kid I kid, there’s no truth to that whatsoever. Ok, maybe a little. All right, maybe a bit more than a little…ok, I’m just going to start pasting in search terms now and shut up before anybody catches on and figures out my game.

We’re starting out on an ever so classy note with this entry.
21 Jul, Wed, 09:17:39
Yahoo:
john cena naked fucking other male wrestlers

This one confused me so much that I actually took the time to look it up to see if I could figure out exactly how a search like that could get here and other than the word “fucking,” I’m completely confused. But this does prove one thing, Yahoo’s search engine is a complete piece of shit. This has been Technology Insider and I’ve been your host, Steve.

21 Jul, Wed, 15:10:47
Yahoo:
How big is Randy Orton’s penis?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. I admire the determination of these people. Randy Orton’s Penis was one of, if not the very first search request ever logged on this site way back last October and they’re still going strong, I dare say outpacing any other request we’ve ever had, no matter how popular. But having said that, it should also be noted that giving up is not always such a bad thing. In fact, in some cases, like this one for example, it’s encouraged.

21 Jul, Wed, 17:38:37
MSN Search:
slutty bitches with big ass tits

I bet you this guy has some great pickup lines, not to mention a perfectly happy and satisfying sex and family life. Man, I’m not sure what was up with last Wednesday, but it must have been international pervert day or something.

23 Jul, Fri, 16:59:21
Yahoo:
dany heatley single dating

First of all, something tells me that Heatly has bigger things to worry about than where his next lay is coming from. But even if he doesn’t, I hope this man or woman [you never know these days] is a fan of a little something that we like to call the conjugal visit. Ok ok, that really wasn’t very nice, and it’s entirely possible that Dany might not even do any time. Everybody is innocent until proven guilty after all. But here’s a word of advice to the person who did this search, if you ever do end up dating Dany Heatley, make sure that you’re the one doing all of the driving.

25 Jul, Sun, 00:00:27
Yahoo:
daylight dicksucking

I’m not sure if this person is looking for pointers or pictures but either way, I don’t see a problem. Oh God, I’ve looked at so many of these things that I’m starting to see the logic in some of them, somebody kill me.

And so ends what isn’t the best installment of this little game that we’ve ever had, but trust me, at the rate things are going, there’ll be many more and much funnier ones coming soon. I can hardly keep up anymore so I’m sure we’ll be doing this again before you know it.

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