So here’s something to help waste some time. Today we hit a milestone as a piece of shit webpage. A milestone that very few piece of shit webpages reach. Today we got our 9000th hit. That’s right. Over 9000 of you have no wasted your time reading what a couple of idiots with nothing better to do have to say on topics ranging from music, to wrestling, to sports to Randy Orton’s penis, to batman midget fucking or something like that.
So I thought now would be a great time to just take a look at the 9000 people who have visited here. I find it hard to believe that I’ll get through this without offending people anyone, but I’ll give it a go.
Let’s take a look at how many people have visited from various countries, shall we?
Canada 3782hits 46.31%
Ya you can always count on the homeland to come through with some big numbers.
United States 1832 22.43%
Ya, they’re loud, they’re obnoxious. They’re American… but we appreciate their numbers and their women.
Norway 513 6.28%
These would be Karine’s people. We thank you Karine. Though this was probably you logging in from 500 or so different computers around the country side.
United Kingdom 43 0.52%
43?? That’s it? You stuck up limey losers. Come on and support us. We have your damn queen on our money for shit sakes.
Australia 16 0.19%
16 Auzzies. Not bad. Apparently you can stop pouring back the beers and chasing dingos or whatever it is you do there to come and read our page. Kudos to you.
France 8 0.09%
It’s probably best that I don’t comment on this one.
Netherlands 7 0.08%
I dont’ think I know enough about these people to say anything… so thanks for coming.
Italy 4 0.04%
A double kiss to you good people.
South Africa 4 0.04%
Congratulations on getting the internet South Africa
Philippines 4 0.04%
Mmmm. Pool boys anyone?
Mexico 3 0.03%
I got nothing to say here.
Sweden 3 0.03%
I visited your damn country in February and you can’t even visit my site? Lazy bastards. I’m glad you choked again in the World Cup.
Germmany 3 0.03%
Me commenting here has bad idea written all over it.
India 3 0.03%
India’s 3 most wealthy families have finally been able to combined their funds enough to purchase a computer. At leas they’re putting it to good use on our page.
Denmark 3 0.03%
So while I’m in Sweden I figure me and the boys will shoot over to Denmark to check out the Karlsburg Brewery. You know what happens? I get there and it says it’s CLOSED. A cute little sign saying loosely translated as “Come Back Tomorrow”. Right. I’ll just hop back across the freakin’ Atlantic Ocean. The kicker is we passed on going Sunday since we figured there’d be a chance it would be closed so we waited and took the train over on Monday to find that Monday is the ONLY day of the week the place is closed. What the fuck is the matter with you people? Monday?!? There’s nothing else in your damn country to see. You have no right to close your only landmark. I got stuck seeing your Royal Palace and it was crap by the way. Alright. I’m done talking about you people, but I don’t like you very much.
Japan 3 0.03%
Nothin’ here to say
Brazil 2 0.02%
Keep those coffee beans comin’ and I got no beef with you.
Singapore 2 0.02%
I must be running out of steam. I’m sure Steve can come up with something for these fine 2 people.
Belgium 2 0.02%
Finland 2 0.02%
Don’t ask me why but I love the Finns. I’ve never met a Finn I didn’t like. I’ve only met 2 in my life but they were both real nice dudes. I hope it was the same 2 that are reading our site.
Greece 2 0.02%
Switzerland 2 0.02%
Damn you people, your efficient watches, yummy chocolate, and neutrality.
Hong Kong 1 0.01%
Czech Republic 1 0.01%
Now technically I should have no beef at all with you good people but I fuckin’ hate Dominik Hasek and Jaromir Jagr so the rest of you get lumped in with those 2 dickheads.
The rest of these places only contributed 1 hit each.
Say Hi to Nik Antropov for me and stay the hell off my site.
I dated a girl from Portugal once… She was nice. That’s about it for you guys.
Iran, Islamic Republic of
No sarcasm here. I truly hope you guys can get things settled down over there REAL quick.
Same for you guys. Peace.
Korea, Republic of
But you guys scare the shit out of me.
Fun lovin’ folk.
So that makes up our readership… or at least it used to.
Happy 9000 Hits!!!