I want you all to do something for me. I want you to read the situation that I’m about to lay out and then tell me where you stand on it and what you would do if you were ever faced with such a choice.
But before I start, I should say that while what I’m about to describe is somewhat based on my life, it is no way a reflection of anything that is actually going on, it’s only something I’ve been thinking about because of the combination of a discussion in the Salty Ham forums and something that somebody asked me today.
Also, even though the people I’m writing about are of a certain gender, I want to get both male and female perspectives so feel free to switch things around as required. Ok, I think that’s everything, let’s do this.
You are a girl who is best friends with another girl. You do everything together and tell each other pretty much everything. Naturally this means that you will not only keep this person’s secrets, but you will do anything you can to help her out when she’s in a pinch or just when she needs a friend. Remember the in a pinch part, it becomes important.
Through this girl you meet a guy. He’s a nice guy, funny, smart, good to talk to. He’s also very close to the girl, possibly even closer to her than you are but to the best of your knowledge, he’s only in that lovely place known as the friend zone and is content to stay there, as is she with him.
As time passes you become pretty close with the guy as well, eventually coming to think of him as another best friend, one on a comparable level to that of the girl. You talk about everything and you develop a pretty deep trust to the point that things which before you would only either tell the girl or keep to yourself, you’re now telling the guy.
More time passes and something changes. The guy and the girl start dating. So much for the friend zone, I guess there is a way out after all. For a long time, things are great. The guy and the girl are happy, the 3 of you are all very good friends, and even though you kind of have a bit of a thing for the guy, you’re happy for them too because 2 of your best friends have found something special.
So things are happy, things are fun, life as you know it has never been better. But then one day something happens. A new guy comes into the picture. At first it seems that the girl and new guy are just friends and nothing more. That’s fine, new guy seems pretty cool and there’s no harm in a friendship. Besides, as cool as new guy is, the girl loves the guy she’s already with too much to ever even think about starting anything with new guy, or so you think until one day you either witness something that you weren’t meant to see or are told about it by the guilty girl who knows that she’s got a bit of a situation on her hands given your relationship with the guy. Whatever the case, you know that the girl is cheating on the guy with new guy. No matter how you come to find this out, the point is that you know.
The question now becomes what do you do with this information? Do you say nothing about this to the guy or the girl and pretend that you know nothing because you don’t want to become caught in the middle? Do you, out of some sort of best friendish need to protect the girl keep your mouth shut about this and say nothing to the guy, hoping that either he finds out on his own or that she comes clean and confesses all the while knowing that your failure to act might screw things up with the guy? Or do you tell the guy what’s going on because of a best friendish need to protect him or do what you think is right, all the while knowing that what you do could screw things up with the girl?
This is where all of you come in. If this was you, how would you handle it?