Another One Of Those Search Result Thingies

I thought for a while that I was going to have to mothball this bit because the weirdos and perverts that make it possible had gotten way too repetitive to make it worth my time to write it up or yours to bother reading it. But at long last, the old hit counter search request bit that still has no official name is back and smaller than ever. Yes, I said smaller. When I said that people were getting repetitive, I wasn’t kidding. We have more search hits these days, but even though you’d think that would be a blessing, it isn’t. Well actually in a sense it is, because it means more site visits for us, but in the context of what we’re dealing with here, all it means is that more people than ever before are discovering the Comet while trying to discover everything there is to know about the penis of Randy Orton. But wading through the endless number of people looking for that paid off today since I found 3 that caught my eye and are worth sharing. So, uh, here they are and stuff.

10 Dec, Fri, 22:59:29
Yahoo:
Ways To Crush Your Own Testicles In Your Own Home

Anybody who’s been reading the site for a little while and has a really good memory will know exactly why this is so funny. for the other 98% of you, I’ll explain it.

Generally when I pull this stuff up I have to ask myself 2 questions. Why the hell would somebody look for that and how the hell did they find it here? Ok, so question 1 is still completely valid, but this time, I’ve got a good solid answer for question 2.

Back in August I posted a link to an article written by some freak detailing 12 ways to crush your own testicles in your own home. Sadly, or happily if you happen to be a testicle, it appears that the site has been taken offline so I can’t link it again. Don’t feel bad about not getting to read it though, this thing was brutal. So brutal that I had to read it in sittings, pausing after every couple descriptions to get up and make sure that my nuts were still there. It was that bad. I’m cringing just thinking about it. And hey, it must be cold in here because my nipples are starting to…oh never mind, it’s just my balls trying to climb to safety. Perhaps we should move on.

13 Dec, Mon, 09:35:27
MSN Search:
elemementary math quiz

Maybe it’s not my place to say anything, but perhaps before we worry about the math we should work on the spelling a little bit first. Or maybe this guy’s keyboard just has a stuttering problem, in which case I apologize.

And what search result thingie would be complete without yet another twist on the one that started it all? Not this one, that’s what one.

13 Dec, Mon, 03:39:18
Yahoo:
Randy Orton’s apartment

I guess they figure the odds are pretty good that if they’re ever going to find his penis, that his apartment would be a good place to look.

And just like that, we’re done. Hopefully I can do one of these again soon, they’re fun. But until then it’s back to whatever else we do around here, and back to watching, waiting and hoping.

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