Look at Me, I have a Cell Phone!

What is it with some people and cell phones? Some people have cell phones, but they’re there for emergencies, or they use them, but they’re discrete about it. With some people, it’s hillarious to watch them when their cell phone rings. they just don’t know how to answer the thing it rings so rarely. Hell half the time you have to tell them, “dude, that’s yours.”

But then there are the other people, the ones that give the cell phone it’s bad name. It’s like they think that because they carry a phone that they are somehow more important. First there are the loud talkers. It’s like they have to announce to everyone that they’re going to meet Joe and Bob downtown, and yes they’re on the bus right now. Come on, you don’t need to yell, there is a mic in the mouthpiece.

Then there are the ones that are always available. They leave the bloody cell phone on even when they’re in class and can’t answer it if they wanted to. Then, after it rings once, they don’t have the intelligence to, ya know, turn it off. It’s one thing to forget it’s on and then it rings. oh crap. But at that point, turn it off and save yourself the humiliation and us the irritation of hearing your cell phone incessantly singing. If your cell phone is your only phone, then get voice mail and turn it off in class. And aren’t these always the ones with elaborate ringtones? So you’re sitting in class, and from behind you, some work of Mozart is being played in all its synthesized cell phone glory. Come on, it’s a ringtone. Wouldn’t, ring ring be enough? I can’t believe what is being turned into ringtones now. Somebody’s cell phone clucks llike a chicken when it rings.

And now, we have cell phones that speak the time. Stellar. What’s not so stellor is its use in the middle of a speech. Seriously, I was sitting at a table with a guy who thought he was the king of Spain or something, and he would always check the time on his cell phone and it would speak it out in a loud tinny voice, right in the middle of someone’s speech. And he wasn’t even blind! Come on, use that big round thing with hands and a face called a clock? Ya know? Or, they have real neat miniaturized ones you can wear on your wrist, they’re called a watch! What a concept! Or, at least have the decency tomuffle the voice!

And here’s a kicker. Yesterday I was sitting in class, and the prof’s cell phone went off. And he answered it! And then he asked us all to say hi to his wife! Then it rang again, and he answered that one to! Like come on, turn it off when you teach! Is something so life and death happening that you have to have it on and answer every call? If there was, I’d understand, but he just had a relaxed exchange with his wife and then told her when he wasn’t teaching anymore.

What is with this phenomenon of needing to be constantly connected wherever people go? Does it make them feel better? Needed? Incredibly invaluable? I wish I had half the importance these people glued to their cell phones imagine they have. Even at half, I’d be pretty special.

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