>Things You’ll Never Hear In A Western Movie

>These made me laugh, and the site needs updating, so here they are.

~”I reckon I’ll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!”

~”Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let’s draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution.”

~”Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room.”

~”Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!”

~”Y’know, Badlands Pete… a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you ‘n’ me… what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?”

~”Let’s see… hardtack and pemmican… that’s three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches.”

~”You ‘n’ Slim round up them strays, and I’ll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue.”

~”That’s him! That’s the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!”

~”He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration.”

~”Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my ass look big?”

~”It’s like I keep tellin’ ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge.”

~”HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! …Okay, now a little to the left… …Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!”

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