Holy Crap!

Well, here I go again, boring you with the mundane details of my life. But as I sit here, sort of studying, sort of daydreaming, the stunning realization hits me like a brick that just over 12 hours from now, I will have done all the work for my whole B.A! and provided that some other hidden pocket of the university doesn’t want money from me, or I don’t royally bomb these exams, it will be mine! I can’t believe it. Six years of work has come to an end…and has coughed me out confused and looking around wondering what the next step is. I mean I know the next immediate step is going for this guide dog, but what does my future hold? The future freaks me out! That’s all I know!

It’s funny. I can’t make up my mind. I have counted the days for this to get here. I have wanted so badly to see the end. Now it’s here, and I’m happy, and want to celebrate, but there’s a part of me that’s so completely confused and kicking myself really hard for not laying out more concrete plans for the next move, and wondering exactly what I’m going to do. I mean I have vague ideas, I just hope I can bring them to a more specific focus. And there’s another part of me that regrets not making more connections with more people. A lot of my friends and people I knew have left the city to go either back home or to other cities. Oh well, it will come together somehow. It’s just really weird to be standing on the edge of one big piece of the structure of my life as it crumbles. I mean I’ve gone to school since I was like 4! It’s freaky to think of it that way.

Ok, I should shake myself. Yick! I sound like a whining sniveling baby. It should be fine. It’s just a little freaky to watch it all end.

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