I’m So Not Creative

Every now and then I sit around and think to myself, “self, you have some weird ideas sometimes.” Then I’ll hear about something like
and I start to wonder if I’m really all that odd after all.

A 38-year-old chinese man has figured out that he can pull a car with his ears while walking on eggs. The kicker? He can do it without hurting himself or breaking the eggs. This same guy, who’s name is Zhang Xingquan, also has the ability to pick up a 25kg bicycle using only his mouth, also while standing on eggs. He said that he started figuring out that he could do these stunts when he was just 8 years old.

Well, there goes my theory about him being some drunken college kid saying to his buddies “hey guys, watch this.”

I’ll never understand how people come up with this stuff. I can almost get my head around the car pulling part of it, but when does breakfast food enter into the equation? It just boggles my mind that there’s a guy out there that hauling vehicles with his ears isn’t hard enough for. And I have to wonder whether the egg thing was his own idea, or something that a buddy of his came up with? That would take some balls wouldn’t it?

“Yeah Zhang, that car pulling thing is pretty cool, but some other guy probably does that already. Hang on, I’m gonna make this harder. Let me see what we’ve got in the fridge.”

And instead of getting all pissed off about not being able to impress the asshole, Zhang would have had to have been all like “yeah, you’re right, grab me some food I can stand on and I’ll do it again.”

I guess it’s just one of those things that I’m not meant to understand, and maybe that’s for the best. If anybody needs me, I’ll be figuring out how to drive spikes through my skull without hurting myself, and pondering the best possible way to work grapefruits into the deal somewhere.

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