Things The Internet Can Teach Us All

1. When the cops pull you over and ask you to get out of your car,
telling them off and then badmouthing them to the person on the other end of your phone probably isn’t the wisest choice you could make.

2. If you start a website that
allows people to translate phrases into multiple languages and then translate those same phrases back into English automatically,
you can keep losers entertained for hours. This also teaches us that computerized translations still really really suck.

3. Just because somebody happens to work at a methane power plant for a living, it doesn’t mean that he or she is always going to understand that
lighting a cigarette while sitting on a public portable toilet might not be such a good idea.

4. If you leave a voicemail that might humiliate you,
there is a good chance that it will end up on the internet, at which point thousands of people will hear it and laugh at you
especially after a bunch of jerks link to it from their own websites.

5.
There is nothing in the world that somebody won’t try to beat off with.
Warning: Funny and painful stories ahoy.

Ok, that’s enough for now, class dismissed.

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