Russian astrologer Marina Bai has
filed a $3 million lawsuit
against NASA over a recent experiment conducted by the agency that involved smashing a space probe into a comet called Tempel 1.
According to Bai, NASA’s reckless actions could not only be responsible for the eventual destruction of the planet Earth, but will also be responsible for future inaccuracies in her horoscope because the balance of the universe has been forever altered. I won’t bother asking about the *current*inaccuracies in my horoscope, I don’t want to ruin her chances of winning even if I am curious about how many comets NASA has already smashed. It has to be a lot, just look at the horoscope page of your local newspaper sometime.
Bai’s lawyer, who clearly has no problem saying absolutely anything no matter how stupid it sounds, went even further than his client in an apparent attempt to turn the suit into some sort of class action for complete retards.
“The impact changed the magnetic properties of the comet,” he stated, “and this could have affected mobile telephony here on Earth. If your phone went down this morning, ask yourself why? and then get in touch with us.”
But if my phone is down, how am I supposed to…oh never mind.
Engineers at NASA have dismissed Bai’s claims, comparing the impact to that of a “mosquito hitting the front of an airliner in flight,” and calling any effect on the world as we know it “negligible” at best.
So now it’s up to the Russian legal system, which clearly has nothing bigger to worry about, to decide the outcome of this fierce legal battle. NO word yet on when they’ll do that, but hopefully we can keep you posted.