A Few Tips

I was walking down the street the other day, and something happened that made me think of all the things that people do that just make my head spin. I got off a bus and was trying to make my way to the corner. Somehow, I got a little off course and was heading towards this weird funky shopping mall down there. I’m trying to figure out where the cross-walk thingy is, and I hit a pole with my cane, and when I say hit, I mean gently tap. I reach out to look at it, to see if it’s a light pole or a parking meter or what. Suddenly, this guy runs to me as if I’m about to set off a bomb. “Ma’am! “Ma’am! What are you looking for? What are you looking for?”

Ok, I appreciate the help, but do you have to make me feel like I’m a god damn mental case? Do you have to make me feel as if I’m as stupid as that post I just tapped? So I got lost. Doesn’t everybody from time to time? I told him where I was trying to go. And he said, “Ok, follow me. You were heading towards the mall, ma’am!” But it was the way he said it. It was as if he’d just talked me out of jumping off a bridge. You know what I mean? I get visions of those police dramas like Third Watch or some such thing just the way he spoke. I appreciate his help, but he is not the hero of the day and the city isn’t going to give him a medal. Don’t make it out like that. It’s like those people who, after they help me find a door, say, “What would you have ever done if I didn’t come along?” No offense, but I would have asked the next person, or miracle of miracles, I would have found it myself! I appreciate the help. I just don’t know why people have to turn a good deed into an act of heroism and bravery.

Another thing people like to do is, when you’re in the middle of the street, they like to yell your name. Thinking there’s a reason they’re doing that, like there’s a big hole I’m about to step in if I keep going, or someone is running a red, stop a second, I look back. Nope. They just want to talk. How about waiting until I’m on the sidewalk before you do that…I’m trying to concentrate! I guess they don’t know that I’m trying to pay attention to what I’m hearing to make sure I don’t become road pizza. But holy crap it’s annoying. And on a sidenote, why do people feel the need to yell all the time when they first meet me? Hello, I’m blind, not deaf, no need to yell.

Or, when they know that you’re about to cross a street, they decide to tell you a long involved story about Uncle Bill and Aunt Olga. How about tell me when I’m on the other side?

And the last one that bugs me is the people who feel the need to punch you on the shoulder every time they have something to say. They’re sitting beside you on the bus, and it’s *punch* “What anice day today.” *punch* “Where did you say you’re going again?” Wouldn’t it be more efficient to just ask me my name if you really want to be sure I know you’re talking to me? Would you talk to your friends that way?

I should say that lots of people I see are cool and don’t drive me nuts. But I seem to have this way of attracting the weirdos a lot lately. Then again, I always seem to attract the bizarre, what else is new?

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