Something Worse than Hold Music

Yep, I’ve found it. Something more annoying than those wonderful muzac things ya hear while waiting on hold to talk to someone at Bell or Rogers tech support because your phone/internet is fried to the tenth power. Whoever the hell designed this needs to be sentenced to listening to ten years of his own invention.

On my friend’s cell phone, there is something called ring tunes. It’s supposed to be this thing where instead of hearing, ring ring, you get to listen to music while you wait for them to fumble around in their purse, flip open the phone, etc. My friend is usually really quick at doing this, so I never noticed what happens if the purse-fumbling takes too long. But today I had the displeasure of experiencing it.

This is usually how it goes. I phone her up, and this voice says, enjoy ring tunes while you wait for your call to be connected. Then Cryptonite from Three Doors down comes on, I start to groove to it, and then she picks up the phone. But today, I called it, got the voice and the song, but she didn’t pick up the phone. I start to wonder if I’ll get the whole song, and what will happen if for some reason I let it ring for the whole song’s length. Just as the song sings, “I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time”, it is rudely interrupted by…by…the voice! It says, “enjoy ring tunes while your call is being connected.” Wasn’t that what I was doing before your prissy ass came to babble in my ear? And it starts again. And at the exact same point in the song, perky the ring tune chick comes along to butcher the song all over again. And we could repeat this infinite loop-style, but we won’t. I don’t want to induce the same rage in all the readers that I felt whhile listening to this crap.

I ask this one question. What is the point of that? How can I enjoy something that sounds like one of those junk files that you get off kazaa? Give me something to enjoy before you tell me to enjoy it…or better yet, just leave it at ring ring. At least ring ring has an unbroken rhythm, and it is only bröken by, “hello?

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