What? A Functioning Computer?

Hey everyone. Excuse me in this post while I mildly geek out. God what a crazy week. I eventually bit the bullet and had this cacking, dying, struggling, upchucking computer taken into the shop. It left on Tuesday, and just came back yesterday, and it works better than it ever has, and the sound doesn’t sound like ass anymore! Wow! I can actually play music on it without wanting to cry! Let’s just hope the cacking and dying stops now too. But only time will tell.

I’m just amazed to see how much damage a bad install of windows can do to a poor computer. I used to always get furious when I was going to school, I’d call the PC help line for help with some random problem and if it was especially stumping, they’d say “reinstall windows.” I’d think, “You morons! That’s just an easy out for you! Why don’t you help me instead of making me start over?” Now I know there might have been some truth to that.

Before this computer went to the shop, let’s face it. It was a whore! It would delete random files every time it would fall to its knees and choke, which could happen multiple times a day. It sounded like it was dragging a boulder every time you asked it to do anything. It couldn’t keep doing what I asked it to, I was afraid to do anything with the stupid thing! Oh, and if you played too many sound files, it would begin sounding like slow motion man.

Now, with the installation of a soundcard and a windows repair, voila! No dragging boulder when there’s no boulder to drag! No crappy sound! A much more responsive computer! I don’t know if all the problems are fixed, but it sure seems like there was more to that reinstall windows thing than I thought. And maybe computers are more like people than I think. Hardware influences software, like body influences mind. You let some dumbshit convince you that your computer should have an onboard sound chip, your sound chip causes your poor windows to have to work harder, your poor windows makes more errors, it falls down and loses some files.

Incidentally, Freedom Scientific
can suck a dongle. They can suck a dong too. They can suck pretty much anything as long as it is guaranteed to give them some sort of infection that will make them smell like fish for as long as they shall live. You see, boys and girls, Freedom Scientific makes stuff to make computers talk. As you can imagine, not many companies make such things, so they will cost you an arm, a leg, and a few internal organs, and the company makes damn sure they get as many arms, legs, and internal organs as they can by making it hard as hell to crack. So, even if you don’t want to crack it, but just want to use it legitimately on a bunch of computers, too bad, you’re out of luck, chester!

I have to say in earlier versions, they were somewhat more generous than now. they gave you a disk with the mysterious power to dole out the permission to use JAWS, their thing to make computers talk, on five different machines. But it was very very very hard to find where this license was kept, so you couldn’t copy it and put it on another computer. You could use this disk to also remove the license from any of these computers, so if you needed to do repairs on the hard drive, you could save the license from damage, because once they’re gone, there’s no…oh gee sorry. Sure, have another one. Nope, they’re gone. The only way to get more is to hand over more limbs and organs to the big company.

Now, they’ve said bye-bye to the disks and bye-bye to our power to save our license keys from getting destroyed in hard drive reformats and other crap. What happens is every time you install JAWS, it phones home to our dong-sucking company, and dong-sucker says, sure they have a license to install the program here. But if your hard drive is going to be reformatted, there is no way to phone home to dong-sucker and say, “Hey dong-sucker, I don’t need the license on this computer right now, take it off so I still have the same number of license keys.” This is especially bad since they only give you three license keys rather than five like in the old days, the cheap pricks. I found this out the other day. Thankfully I didn’t have to spend any money, but I just know I’d better watch my computer p’s and q’s, or I will have to if I have any glitches that make a meal out of the license key.

So, hopefully now that I have a decent computer, you’ll hear from me again soon.

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