Extra Extra, Read All About…what?

Remember the old days when news stories all had a point? The point could have been obvious, enraging, thought-provoking, it didn’t matter. It was there, and it was clear.

Now, it seems reporters have forgotten this concept and waste our time with lots of pointless crap.

Case in point: The other day I heard on the news. “There is more packaging than ever before. Here are the details.” Now, when I hear that we’re going to get the details, I think I’m going to get some story about how they ‘ve had to increase the amount of packaging to foil shoplifters. Or, I’m going to hear about the environmental ramifications of so much plastic. At least I’ll hear about what I should do if I hate this amount of packaging as much as the reporter does. But no no no. I get five minutes of, “Look at all this plastic! Back to you, Brent.” Well duh, I would have gotten this bit of “news” by visiting any store in my vacinity, buying something, and then cursing at the unrelenting packaging that will not let me in!

Another story I saw was supposed to be a critique of different types of luggage, and whether you should go for the cheap bag or the expensive suitcase. At first, he talked about how the more expensive suitcase stood up to more ware than the cheaper kinds. He was going for a point. But then the point train fell off the rails with this statement. “But, there is this one guy who has an expensive suitcase which has fallen apart, so you never know.”

Well thanks, Jimmy! So how can your story be of use to me? Honestly, I have no idea. Buy the cheap? Expensive? Cheap? Expensive? What’s that? It’s pieces of my head all over the floor!

It’s really sad when more and more often, I catch myself saying, “Duh!” at the TV when the news is on. It’s supposed to tell me shit I don’t know. It’s supposed to make me aware of things. That’s why they call it the *news*! Next they’ll tell me cars need fuel to function, snow melts when it gets hot, and people who cross on lights that are red for them are more likely to die than those who cross when the little man says walk. I’m left to wonder, if they feel that it’s necessary to broadcast this, is it news to someone? *Shudder*!

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