Man I. Confused

Can somebody please explain to me how it is that spam is such a profitable industry, because I seriously don’t get it. I go through my spam folder every day trying to figure it out, but so far, nothing. I’m not sure if there’s just something I’m not picking up on, some sort of subtle message that most people immediately understand that I can’t find, but it seems to me that hiding such a message within the confines of “ur dicky s 2 short & ur women r not love u no more” would be next to impossible. Maybe that’s my problem. I see something like that and immediately think ok, somebody from AOL wants to sell me some sort of wang widening thingamabob and just delete it, totally missing out on the life changing greatness that lies within. Maybe I just don’t have the right vision, the ability to think outside the box so to speak.

Or maybe the key is in the names. Perhaps I’ve been living in a bubble all these years and if I were ever to emerge, I would find myself in a world full of people with names like Seafood K. Sexual and Wizjukxwwwielph who frequently toss off missives to their friends and colleagues containing such pearls of wisdom as “High atrium elliptical centrifuge antithesis, click here,” and it’s entirely possible that in this strange and mysterious place, buying breast-enhancing life insurance from these people is a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do.

Or maybe, and I’m sure this can’t possibly be the case, some of us just aren’t that bright. Nobody could honestly be thick enough to think that the penis enlargement pills will truly have them tucking it into their shoes within a few weeks, could they? Nobody truly thinks that buying spam filtering software through an email from a place they’ve never heard of is a good idea, do they?

Hopefully some day I can solve this riddle and put an end to my torment. But until then, if you need me, I’ll be checking my bulkmail.

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