Thoughts from someone Knee-High to a Grasshopper

Well hello again. What is with my random posts and all the thinking back to being 4? Well whatever it is, it’s making me laugh.

After I wrote my other post about being a kid, some comments made me think about other things I thought back then, so I guess I wasn’t as weird as I thought. Steve got me thinking about things I used to think about the radio. He thought the stations were inside the radio. Well at least he realized what DJ’s were. I thought they were just holding the doors open for bands to come in and play. I couldn’t figure out how a band could always sound exactly the same and be in a whole bunch of stations all at once. What really stumped me was the day I was turning the dial and they were at the beginning of a song and then I flipped it again and the same song was playing at a different point. It was once again time to burst Carin’s bubble and tell her, no no no, they were not live.

I also couldn’t figure out why a lot of bands had identical lead and back-up vocalists. I thought, “Wow, there are a lot of talented sets of twins out there.” And then in songs where the lead singer would sing multiple tracks and have them overlap, I’d try to figure out who was the real lead singer until my head would spin.

And then I always thought people were eating while on the radio. I thought gees these people are pressed for time. They have to eat and play their songs. Give them a break! There was Roy Orbison. I thought he was always eating, and cookies of all things. My dad would always freak me out too. Every time Roy Orbison would come on the radio, he’d say, “there’s that dead guy again.” So I’d picture a dead guy eating cookies.

There was this news guy who’d come on who had a mumbly voice, and he’d only read the news at noon. Because his voice was mumbly, I thought he was eating cheese. I’d always think that he must be really hungry since he had to eat through the news, and wonder why he’d never eat *before* coming to the studio. I just have one question for my four-year-old self. cheese? Why cheese? Maybe that’s two questions, but who’s counting? Damn now we’ve got 3!

Something else I thought about while listening to the radio was a commercial I’d always hear. It told people not to drink and drive and made it sound like the people who drank and drove were criminal bastards. I of course didn’t make the leap that drinking referred to only drinking alcohol. I’d sit there and think, “Do you not drink anything and drive because you might spill it? Or maybe you didn’t have both hands on the wheel and then you’d have an accident.” Well at least I got the accident part right.

Ok let’s get away from the radio for a bit. Let’s go to the kitchen and bake a pie! I’d watch mom baking pie and wonder how a bunch of eggs, sugar, butter, flour and fruit could turn into pie. I’d notice how when warm water got cold it would be cold water again. So I’d wonder if letting pie get cold would make it magically turn back into dough and then get scared when mom would put the pie in the fridge. “You’re going to wreck the pie, mommy!”

And I think that’s all the weirdness I can think of for now. At the rate I’m going, I’ll think of more later.

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