Answer Me This

I figured since Carin already has the
things I’ll miss about my old place when I move
beat covered, that it would only be fitting for one of us negative assholes to come on here and talk about things we won’t miss. And since Matt’s not moving and Carin wrote about the good things the other day and a lot of the shitty ones are pretty well documented, I guess it falls to me. I’m not going to bother with a huge list of complaints and grievances, since other than having absolutely no space and being unable to get my mail when I need it because I share a mailbox with the people upstairs who don’t like to be home or return phone calls in a timely fashion, I’ve been pretty happy here. Instead I’m just going to focus on one thing that I hope some of you might be able to help me figure out.

I live in a basement apartment where the radio reception absolutely sucks. I can get somewhere around 5 FM stations on a good day, of which approximately 0 are consistently any good. AM is pretty decent, but there’s only so much talk radio any man can handle, no matter how hard that man may try. So unless I listen to CD’s or internet streams, I’m subjected to some pretty piss poor programming on a pretty regular basis. This leads me to a question, actually no, 2 questions.

First, why is it that no matter where you are in the world, the worst radio stations are always the ones with the strongest signals? And second, why in hell is Coldplay so popular? While I’m at it, I should throw in one more. Is there a law around here that I’m unaware of that says that unless you’re a country radio station, you’re required to play a minimum of 37 Coldplay songs a day? Yes, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, one of the things I’m most looking forward to about the new place is being able to turn off a Coldplay song without running headlong into another one.

Come on guys, help me out here. If you’re a Coldplay fan, please explain one simple thing to me. Why? I can’t figure it out. I can think of 2 Coldplay songs that I don’t absolutely despise, and I don’t even care for them very much. They’re Clocks and Yellow in case anybody cares, but back to the point. Everywhere I go, all I hear and read about is how great and how revolutionary these guys are, and I just don’t understand. Every Coldplay song sounds like every other Coldplay song, and I don’t care what anybody says, Chris Martin always sounds to me like he’s either got a yap full of food that he’s swallowed half way, or like he’s doing his best imitation of an animal that’s just been hit by a truck. I won’t go so far as to say that this band sucks donkey dicks, but that’s only because I don’t think it would be fair to insult donkey diccks that way.

Anyway, now that I’ve got that out of my system, I should probably eat some lunch and do some packing. And by the way, if the site is quiet for the next few days, it’s because Carin and I will both be in Ottawa for our friend’s wedding. So hopefully Matt can entertain you, and hopefully we’ll have some fun stories to tell when we get home.

See you all soon, and always remember…um…never mind, I forget.

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