Somebody sent this to me years ago and I always thought it was funny, but for some reason I never got around to putting it up. If you’re not a hockey person there’s a chance that you might be about to get totally lost, and if you’re blind and using a screen reader, the best advice I can give you is to check the spelling on some of these if they don’t make sense right away, because JAWS has a helluva time with hockey player’s names sometimes.
So our day begins at the golf course where I have been battling in the Lindy Ruff all day. We call it quits and head into the club house for some Bob Beers and Some Kelly Buchburgers. After crushing many drinks we decided to hit the local night club to check out some Carl Dykhaus and some Joe Nieuwendykes. So I noticed that I was getting eyeballed by some Neil Shehe and she had a bit of a Doug Weight problem. I thought to myself “I can’t stoop this Patrick Marleau”. She wanted to take off, and I wasn’t sticking around for the ugly lights to come on, so I paid the Rick Tabaracci and we hopped in a Tomas Kaberle.
I took her back to my Phil Housley where things got a little hot and steamy. She geared down and not to my surprise her Keri Taco was a bit Joe Reekie and Jason Wooley. I decided she needed a Bill Barber, pulled out my Donald Brashears and shaved her hair diaper down to the Randy Wood. She then proceeded to trim my Harry Snepts and the bush around my Pekka Rautakeileo. I then reacted quickly and popped her Don Cherry but she was too Ken Dryden, so I flipped her over, grabbed my Haken Loob and threw it in her Curtis Brown with no Tie Domi. After a few pumps she started to complain that she was too Marty Mcsorley to go on. So I snapped and quickly showed her to the Daryl Sydor and told her that maybe I would call her Brendon Morrow. Needless to say, she was Grant Fuhrious. The next morning I had the worst Darren Puppa and I was Valeri Zelepukin all day.
Anyways 2 weeks later I noticed a Travis Green drip oozing from my Mike Babcock. So I booked an appointment with Dr. Randy Greg and got a Corey Schwab. But that isn’t the end of the story!
A month later I woke up and saw Garth Snow outside. The weather man said that there was going to be a 30% chance of a Theo Fleury. My car wouldn’t start so I had to borrow my roommate’s car. It’s not as Chris Osgood as mine and it takes a Robert Luongo time to start, but I was stuck. When I went in his room to get the keys, there was that same Rick Brodsky with my roommate!
She was sucking on his Mike Pecca while Esa Tikkinen his temperature with her finger. I said “buddy, don’t do it! That Butch Goring has the fans clapping! I think she picked it up in Paul Kariya!” But he wouldn’t listen to Marty Reasoner. Finally I just said “keep up the Manny Legace”, and ran out.