It feels like it has to be told, because every time I tell this story to someone, they laugh their ass off. So, since I’ve been writing all day, I figure what the hell.
In another post, I mentioned some of the weirdos I went to school with. Well one of them gets a starring role in this story.
It’s not really fair to call this guy a weirdo, since what made him weird wasn’t something he could help. He was deafblind, and something a lot of deafblind people do is make noises all the time. I guess it must feel good, and if you don’t realize that no one else is making those noises, why would you stop? Every deafblind person who makes those noises seems to find his or her own unique type of noise. Our starring actor’s sort of sounded like, “o-aa, o-aa, o-aa, o-aa-o-aa-o-aa, o-aa, o-aa.” If I could leave a clip of me making the noise, I would, people tell me that I do a good impression of this guy.
Anyway, one morning, I was sitting in French class. We had a small French class of five, and once a week, one of the students would go into the back room with the teacher and have to talk to him for a few minutes. This was one of those mornings. There were 3 guys, two of whom were twins, and two girls in the French class, the other girl went in the back, so it was the guys and me out there.
As we sat working on various assignments, we heard our deafblind buddy going by. We didn’t think much of it, because they always pass through on their way to somewhere. But this one seemed to be alone, and was taking his sweet time about it. His noise changed from “o-aa, o-aa o-aa o-aa o-aa, o-aa, o-aa,” to something that sounded like an evil genius laugh, and we all sort of giggled. One of the dudes started imitating him, and did a damn good job! This kept me and one of the guys laughing, while the guy doing the imitating got scolded by his brother and told to stop it. He didn’t, which was fine by us, because it was damn funny.
After each utterance our deafblind friend made, the dude in the class would match it. Then, oh then! Something changed. I thought maybe he’d gotten up and moved around the classroom, because now there was an “o-aa, o-aa, o-aa o-aa, o-aa” right behind my head! Then the creator of that noise shook his head violently from side to side. I said, “Um, dude? That was too real.” That’s when I heard my classmate across the room, and realized the one shaking his head behind me was the real thing!
Then we all froze, not really because we were afraid, but because we were kind of in shock. Had we called him? Could he hear us or hear that and follow the sound? Where was the staff that was usually with him?
Then, our teacher came out of the back room. He seemed just as confused as we were. Not really knowing what to do, he just sort of gave our noisy visitor a little shove out towards the hall and said, “There ya go.” I remember the guy closest to me saying, “And that’s going to do what?”
Luckily, a staff that knew him showed up and said to him, “How did you end up here? You’re on the wrong floor!” and promptly whistled him back to where he was supposed to be. I wonder how long he’d been missing?
The weirdest part of this whole thing, if it could get any weirder, was what happened after. Without speaking a word to each other, the guy sitting closest to me, the guy who had been imitating him, and I, started having a competition of who could imitate which deafblind. One of us would go, “aaaaa!”, someone else would go, “pffft pfft pfffttt clap slap clap slap,” and someone else went, “wee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eegguuuuuoouuuu!” And we’d all laugh. What the hell? What made us understand that we all wanted to play a game of name that deafblind dude? And what had the school done to us?
I hope that the story didn’t lose something in the writing. Maybe I can come up with more later. I think people will really think I’m weird now.