It’s official. I need to stop bitching about the things people do or say because of the whole blindness thing. I just got proof in my inbox that people get asked far worse things than I ever have. Here are the 10 worst questions people have asked, in someone’s humble opinion. I don’t know who originally wrote this, and I don’t agree with all of them, but I still thought it was funny. So here goes.
10. Are your eyes real or plastic?
I’ve never been asked that one, probably because my eyes are supposedly constantly doing the jitterbug. Some have said it’s not so bad, but little kids, the most honest judges, always comment on the jiggly eyes. One kid actually asked me, “Did you cross your eyes too long once and they got stuck?” As the babysitter stammered and stuttered apologies, I laughed, and laughed, and laughed!
9. Did you get past first grade?
Um, the gall. The closest I’ve gotten is “Where do you work, or…do you work?” Or there’s always the time that woman called me a waste.
8. Do you want me to cut your meat? I meahn, can you tell your silverware apart?
Ok, I’ve had the first part of that, when it’s like some kind of thick steak or something, and I can understand where they’re coming from. Sometimes I’ve taken them up on having them help me get the food at some kind of buffet or something or if it’s all weird and hard to cut. I have never ever been asked if I can tell my silverware apart though.
7. Who helped you with your clothes? They match so beautifully.
I can’t even get mad about that one, except maybe they should have worded it like “How do you match your clothes so well?” Hell, if I could see and I saw a blind person walking around with perfectly colour-coordinated clothes, I’d be like how the hell do they do it? I’d just wanna know. Kinda like I’m curious about the medium in which deaf people think. I know that sounds dumb. But when I think, I hear a little voice in my head. So how do they think? In sign? Probably, but I’ve never had the chance to ask a deaf person.
6. Is it really true blind people have families?
Wow! Where do they think we came from? Or do they think that as soon as the parents realize that their kid can’t see, they pawn them off on some orphanage? I get the opposite. People are astonished that my parents live five hours away and I do stuff all on my own. They just assume the reason I live here is because I have family here. When they find out I’m here because I went to university, they’re all flabbergasted.
5. Goodness you’re amazing. Did you actually pour your milk?
Um yeah I had that. Once I was helping out and pouring these drinks called mocktails, like non-alcoholic mixed drinks, and the place where I was helping out was all unsure about how I was going to work in their office. When they saw me pouring cans of juice into the jug, they’re like “Wow! You can actually do that yourself! Maybe there’s a chance!” Um ok?
4. When you walk, do you put one foot in front of the other?
I don’t usually get that one, I get, “When you walk, do you count steps?” Or they assume that I do count steps and tell other people off who try to talk to me. “Don’t break her concentration!” they say. Or, they’ll assume that because my eyes don’t work, neither do my legs.
3. Should I help you in the bathroom stall?
Wow. I only get, “Will you be able to find everything in there ok?” But never phrased that way. I did get, “How will you navigate to the bathroom?” whenI was going to be taking this class for a month. I just looked at her and said, “Well, you are giving tours, I assume? So will you give me one too?” Then she was just speechless.
2. Were you born that way? You know blind?
I have 0 problem with that one. Never having vision and having it and then losing it are two whole different ballgames. That’s a decent question!
1. Are you really blind? You sure can’t tell it. I mean, you sure know your way around your house.
Um wow. If all the other blinks these people ever met couldn’t even get around their own houses, they’re a pretty sad sample. Oy yoy yoy. And the only time I had someone swear I wasn’t really blind,I was 6 and he was 7, and he just didn’t think it was possible. He kept waiting for me to slip up.
That was fun. Some of them must have come from a different time or something. I can’t even imagine getting asked some of those questions. But maybe tomorrow, I’ll go somewhere and get surprised. You never know.