Cover Letters From Hell

I should have written this up a few months ago when I found out about it, but since I’m a lazy hack, I just never got around to it.

Advertising agency Killian & Company has a hilarious section on its website called Cover Letters from Hell that features, well, cover letters from hell.

The link above will take you to a complete explanation of what’s going on, as well as to a whole mess of greatness known as the Cover Letter Hall of Shame.

This link will take you to the newest batch of submissions, which is full of gems such as the following:

I recently seen your job posting on I have a very extensive background in Marketing Communications … I have wrote traditional copy for print catalogs Hammacher Schlemmer and Spiegel …

I have to commend you on your superfluous and otherwise over-the-top website.

During my student teaching, I touched many of the students, especially the boys.

I feel that a companies sucsess depends on customer satifation and each employees dedication to meet that goal. I also attached my resume online. I will be very excited to hearing from you.

“Hello! My name is _________. I spoke with the woman in charge of your hiring the other day, and she suggested I send in this resume. While it goes against my personal, cultural, and religious beliefs to take any sort of orders from a woman, I decided to send this on in for your consideration. I would be a very good asset to your company, and I know that I can advance quickly enough so that I would never need to take orders from your girl again.”

Go read the whole thing, and weep for humanity.

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