>I should have written this up a few months ago when I found out about it, but since I’m a lazy hack, I just never got around to it.
Killian & Company
has a hilarious section on their website called
Cover Letters from Hell
that features, well, cover letters from hell. The link above will take you to a complete explanation of what’s going on as well as to a whole mess of greatness known as the Cover Letter Hall of Shame.
will take you to the newest batch of submissions, which is full of gems such as the following:
I recently seen your job posting on craiglists.com I have a very extensive background in Marketing Communications … I have wrote traditional copy for print catalogs Hammacher Schlemmer and Spiegel …
I have to commend you on your superfluous and otherwise over-the-top website.
During my student teaching, I touched many of the students, especially the boys.
I feel that a companies sucsess depends on customer satifation and each employees dedication to meet that goal. I also attached my resume online. I will be very excited to hearing from you.
“Hello! My name is _________. I spoke with the woman in charge of your hiring the other day, and she suggested I send in this resume. While it goes against my personal, cultural, and religious beliefs to take any sort of orders from a woman, I decided to send this on in for your consideration. I would be a very good asset to your company, and I know that I can advance quickly enough so that I would never need to take orders from your girl again.”
Go read the whole thing, and weep for humanity.