Why Can’t all Spam Be This Funny?

Every time I look at this, I start laughing again.

I don’t know why I even read this message. It was in my spam folder, and something about the subject line caught my attention. I figured it was probably a steaming heap of bullshit, but I wanted to read it to make sure. Am I ever glad I did. Oh am I ever.

The subject line was “You have Mail (1 new)”. Because I was curious, I decided to read this little gem. And here’s what it said.

Confidential Messages:

We were contacted by someone you know very well. This person has asked us not to share their identity.

We specialize in helping people with many problems, and are looking forward to helping you. 

It may be embarrassing having a small penis, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  You can disregard this message if you are over 5 inches in length, if not then you have a problem. Not only are you leaving the ladies unsatisfied, you are being laughed at in the locker room too. We get several men with these problems everyday, and we direct them to the “Herbal King”, who has been the king of enlargement for over 10 years.  After you have received help we can release the identity of the person who sent us your information.

I checked, the subject wasn’t ” you have male.” So let me get this straight. If I were a man, and were to believe that this was not a spam, but a legitimate company who wanted to help with penis enlargement, I would have to fall down and hang my head in shame because someone who knew me well enough to know the size of my genetalia informed the Herbal king of my, um, deficiency. Now I’d have to kneal before the herbal king and ask for his services so I could find out who this so-called close friend of mine was and kill…er…have a talk with them about the way they feel about my parts. Yeah, that’s it.

Sometimes spam can be entertaining.

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