Odd Combination Of Things Number 4

Before we get started, here’s a quick update/correction. The
story in Things Number 3
about the
drunk who said a unicorn was driving his car when he had his accident
turns out
not to be quite accurate.
There was no unicorn, just misunderstood slang that came out of communications from the prosecutor’s office. Apparently anybody who has a stupid excuse for what happened is said to be using the “unicorn defense.” This guy definitely qualifies, having told police in various statements that he had a broken left leg, panicked and had even fallen asleep before deciding to blame the incident on those damn woman drivers and pin the whole thing on his girlfriend. Not bad, but the unicorn thing makes for a much better story.

Ok, now let’s have some fun. Just remember that objects on the blog may be less online than they appear.

*Next time you commit a crime, forget trying to make any sort of spectacular escape from the scene. Seriously, take your time. Grab some booze, have a snack, catch a bus. hey, it worked for
this guy,
who the police still can’t find.

*
this
is an interesting look at 10 of the worst acts of hockey violence in history. I love the descriptive writing. CBC always does a great job on these retrospective type things.

*
This story about the Waitakere City Council in New Zealand taking itself to court for failing to get proper permits before moving 6 homes
almost didn’t make it here because it sounded too ridiculous to be true, but the large number of official looking press releases and court filings I found while looking it up combined with the fact that there are governmental elements at work here seem to back up it’s truthfulness.

*Elton John may be banned from performing on the island of Tobago in order to
protect residents from being turned gay.

*What in the world could be causing this explosive gas? Is it the Mexican food, or could it be
the golf ball-sized grenade I stuffed up my dumper
before they hauled me off to jail yesterday?

*
Valet Crashes Car Into Hospital, Hits Car’s Owner
And to top it all off, the owner of the car was an amputee in a wheelchair. The valet is now being charged with careless driving, which I’m not sure is fair considering that the car was built for use by a handicapped person and not laid out like a normal vehicle.

*It’s official, British governments are certifiably batshit nuts. the latest scheme, which comes from the Ealing town Council, will see small cameras installed in items such as cans of beans and building bricks to
help the government catch people who aren’t putting their garbage out when they’re supposed to.

*Good idea: Teaching your 9-year-old child about sex. Bad idea:
having it while she watches you in the hopes that she’ll figure it out.
The girl’s mother and her boyfriend were allowed to plead guilty and receive probation rather than jail time in order to spare the kid the pain of going through a long trial.

And to add one more strange element to the story, according to the Reuters article, the judge in the case was named Jeremiah Jeremiah Jr. that means that there has to have been a Jeremiah Jeremiah SR at some point, which is a frightening thought. Seriously, how many guys have you met in your life named Bob Bob? Probably none, because I’d like to think that most people wouldn’t do that to their child.

*
German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split
I honestly don’t understand why we don’t hear stories like this more often. It seems like something that should happen more than it does.

*
I think this guy might be just a little bit paranoid, how about you?

*It’s no wonder kids don’t want to participate in sports anymore, what with crazy parents like these who
karate kick small children for messing up during soccer games
and
throw their children’s wrestling opponents in the air because their kid is losing.
In the second case, the parent *was* one of the coaches.

*What the heck, le’ts go for the insane parent trifecta and throw in a story about 3 members of an Italian family, the father and grandfather among them, who
beat up a school principal
because they didn’t like the grades their kid was getting or the school’s new ban on cell phones.

I think that’s enough for today. As always, feel free to send things in, we like that sort of thing around here.

By the way, I’m glad that everybody has been enjoying Carin’s guide dog trip updates. there’s a new one right below this post for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

I’ll be back with something later on, so I’ll talk to you then.

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