Carin’s Guide Dog Diary: Day 17

I hate my body. I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. I listened to all the remaining lectures except for 2 just to try and get myself back to sleep, so I was awake for 2 or so hours. Arg.

What’s happening today? Let’s check the schedule again, because I can’t remember it from earlier. day room at 8 about escalators,obedience on campus, going to Northgate Mall to do escalators and grocery store. Afternoon we talk about problem-ssolving and then we do freelance. Mmm…coldstone creamery. What’s the food? fried eggs and english muffins for breakfast, some kind of veggy sandwich or chicken caesar for lunch, and dinner is beef stew or some turkey salad and lemon bars for dessert. Mmm. Five minutes until grub time.

We went to Safeway and they showed us how to do grocery shopping with the puppy. If you’re having someone pull the cart, you heel her and stuff. If you’re pulling the cart, you can work her. That could be interesting.

Then we went to the mall. I didn’t do the escalators because they say you have to do it once a week at least to keep it alive. But now I’m thinking I should have done it because if I get this job, I might have to do escalators if I have to go into Toronto and learn any subway stuff. So maybe I should do it. I don’t know. But I’m nervous and I’m afraid that’ll transfer to the dog. They say there’s always an alternative. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. the retrains all say I should do it. Ug decisions. I just don’t want to get her little pawsy wawsies caught on the escalator teeth. I don’t want to get them cut.

She was awesome in the mall. She likes the movie theatre though. Hmmm I wonder why. Must smell good. We went up the stairs. She’s a real stealth sniffer. She can sniff and sometimes I don’t even feel it.

The afternoon was a whole different story. Oy yoy yoy. We went out to do freelancing which is where we all choose our own destinations, but I didn’t understand the way they put it. I didn’t know if the second group had to wait until the first group was all back or what. So we were all confused, and after the first group all left, we sent Frank out to the curb. We told him there should be someone stationed out there at the curb and to ask them if we’re all supposed to head out, then come back in and tell us what the plan is. Frank just went out and kept on truckin’;. Way to go messenger frank. So we all took off not sure if we were supposed to go or not. Autumn said, well why don’t we just start walking. I said Autumn, you can see more than me, so if you’re comfortable with that, then you go ahead. But in this town I don’t know, I’d like to know if there are instructors watching in case I cross a street wrong or try to cross a street that doesn’t continue, etc. I didn’t mean anything more than, I’m not comfortable with that because I don’t know this place uber well. Well Autumn decided to take it that I meant that she didn’t have a right to be here because she could see more than me or something. I don’t know. She asked me about it. I just said well dued you’re going to see more than me, so you probably would feel more comfortable just setting off.

Then I went on the walk, thinking it was over. I decided to do the basic route and then hit this bagel shop a few doors past the lounge just to see how hard it would be to get Trixie to pass the lounge. The basic route was going swimmingly until I got back to Fourth and e street. I crossed E, then I turned to cross Fourth and said forward. Just then, a left-turner came straight at us. Trixie backed away from the car like a little trooper, but then she turned 180 degrees and plopped me back at the down-curb. I knew it was wrong, but my choices were defy her in the street and potentially die, or land on the down-curb and sort it out later. I almost fell into E street as I tripped over a light post and then stood facing E and looking very upset. I dropped the handle and told her to sit and someone came. She said I shouldn’t have let her turn me around, but she said it’s ok now. She walked me across the street and then we made our left turn. Then I got to the bagel shop and could have cared less about the bagels. I couldn’t even get her in the door. She has real trouble with over here commands, the command to make her switch sides when the door opens toward her and to the left. Apparently they’ve only done it a couple times before. Huh?

I bought a bagel. Maybe I’ll eat it eventually.

I got back to the lounge and sat and tried to eat my bagel, but felt too sick to stomach it. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, the room fell silent the way it used to when we’d be talking about David. The only difference was David would hear about our problems with him and they would continue. Autumn had one problem with me, I thought we’d addressed it, and then she had to go and cry to the whole group. Ok, I don’t care if you’re tired. So am I. And if you don’t have the balls to come to me if you still have a problem, I don’t have time for you. Go ahead and pout. I’ll talk to you tonight about that silent spot in the lounge. you will hear about it. Hell the whole bus asked me what I said to Autumn. Right now she’s refusing to talk to me, and I’m writing here because we don’t have time to have a confrontation right now. But oy yoy yoy I’m pissed. She has no spine. I admit I won’t say anything to some people, but at least when I’ve talked to someone about something, I won’t then go and bitch at everyone else if they said I’m sorry. I said I didn’t mean to be mad. I just said look if you want to run wild through the streets of San Rafael, you go ahead because you can see better where you’re going and probably could save yourself some hastles without an instructor.

Ok it’s almost time for dinner. I hope I can eat.

On a funny note, I taught Mike a new word. He’d never heard of Jonesing. I said that I bring Trixie out to relieve before feeding, but sometimes it feels like she’s just jonesin’ for food and doesn’t really do anything. He said what’s jonesin’? I said it was like if you just needed drugs or had a craving for something. He was like what? Ok? Jen finally laughed at him and told him she was surprised he didn’t know what jonesin’ was. he said he liked me because I laughed at all his jokes.

Alright I’m in a bit of a better mood. I think I’m going to get Trixie’s bone and put it away. Then after dinner there’s an optional lecture on development or PR or whatever, and I’d skip it except I hear it’s the dude who was in the World Trade Centre with his woofer on 9/11 and his woofer got him out. So I just have to meet this guy. Then I need to visit Jen and ask her to fill out the gift shop form, fix it anyway. I want to ask Jen then about this rough spot I found on Trixie’s nose and this weird thing I found on the left side of her mouth. It looks like she’s perpetually chewing on her mouth. It’s probably nothing, but I’m gonna ask anyway. Then relieve and resolve this shit with Autumn. Relieve, resolve, retire to bed. Wish there was an r word for slip into a sleep coma until tomorrow morning at 5:45. Anybody got any ideas?

I think that’s the first meal I haven’t been a fan of. Beef Stew, meh. I think it’s less because of the beef stew and more because of the way I’m feeling.

I had a scary moment. I walked into the dining room and heard “Smash!” Then I heard Frank yell something in spanish. So I thought he broke his mug or something. So I froze cause I didn’t want Trixie to step in glass. But it was all good, it was in the kitchen.

I have just under 20 minutes before I should water the puppy and then go down and meet that guy who made it out of the World Trade Centre because of his woofer. Should I go bug Jen about that form and ask her about Trixie’s nose and lips now? I think she was on the phone and helping Meredeth with Sedgey. Poor Sedgey now has an ear infection so needs his ears done with a cream twice a day. Meredeth grumbles but isn’t really outwardly upset. I think it’s eating her up though now that I saw her come back to the bus with a blown out knee and not say a word.

Speaking of knees that hurt, mine does. Ever since I had that crazy crossing thing happen, I walk funny and I have to go slower. It’s not uber painful, just enough to make me limp.

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