Beating A Who With A What Now?

Steve told me about this story, and he’s right. The next passage contains the best words to be written down since a police officer said someone was punching vegetation.

Durango, CO
11:08 a.m. A man on Westwood Place said his girlfriend was beating a miniature Chihuahua with a spatula.

And that’s the whole story. That leaves me with so many questions, and so many images. Steve said he saw this little gem somewhere, and my curiosity got the best of me. I through the words “beat chihuahua with spatula” into google, and voila!

So now, the questions, the images, and the fun! My biggest question is…why? Why would you beat a chihuahua with a spatula? Did it just eat part of your lunch off the spatula and you got mad? Why?

And…it was a miniature chihuahua. Is there any other kind? Have I been living under a rock and there are giant chihuahuas running around? I guess there are chihuahuas and teeny chihuahuas. And if that’s the case, the spatula was probably bigger than the poor little creature.

And…how scary is this woman that her boyfriend didn’t just stop her from beating the chihuahua? Why did he have to call the police? I can understand calling the cops if you saw your neighbours wallupping their little yappy mutt, but your girlfriend? Come on! Maybe he was afraid he’d get the spatula next.

And last but not least…how did it end? Did they take the chihuahua away? What happened to the girl? Don’t leave me hanging like that!

All I know is that whole scene would have been odd to witness. Maybe the images in my head are funnier than it could have possibly been.

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