Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Make Shitty Movie

When people ask me why I never go to the movies and why I don’t care when stuff comes out on DVD, I always have a million ways to answer their questions. And as of this very moment, I now haveone more.Yes, “Monopoly: The Movie” could soon be coming to a theatre near you. FILM …

>You Have A Collect Call From…Your Cheap Offspring.

>Isn’t this a sad statement? According to snopes, Father’s Day is the busiest day of the year for collect calls. Next in line is Mother’s Day, followed by Valentine’s day. Aren’t we a classy bunch? We can’t even pay a few bucks to say we love our parents and significant others. Tomorrow’s Father’s day, and …

Beating A Who With A What Now?

Steve told me about this story, and he’s right. The next passage contains the best words to be written down since a police officer said someone was punching vegetation. Durango, CO11:08 a.m. A man on Westwood Place said his girlfriend was beating a miniature Chihuahua with a spatula. And that’s the whole story. That leaves …

We Had the Hot Seat, Now You Can Have A Cool Seat.

First we had the USB missile launcher. Then came the USB nuclear missile launcher. Then we got less warlike in our USB gadgets with the creation of the secret base emergency button, and finally, our laziness was shown with the invention of the USB ash tray. But now, we have something for the What the …

>I Think Somebody’s A Little Squirrely

>Are squirrels super valuable in Israel? If not, do any of you have another way to explainthis?I hope so, because I’ve got nothin’, at least nothin’ better than mental illness. The victim, whose name was not released, said he was carrying his pet squirrel in his fanny pack when Surami grabbed it and tried to …