I think I’ve finally figured out why those trainers spent all that time teaching me to go around stuff. It’s because I’m with someone who really can’t see stuff! She’s not pretending. She really can’t! Even when I’m not wearing that harness thingy, if we’re out so I can do my business, I try to make sure she doesn’t smack into those poles along the grass. If I don’t move over, she will hit them. I don’t like watching that. Now, how can I use that not seeing thing to my advantage? Maybe if I don’t want to be ffound when she wants to put me on tie-down, like when they’re having really yummy-smelling steak for dinner, I’ll walk really quietly. Then if I don’t come, she won’t find me! Oh! She’s calling me *and* she has kibble! Ooo kibble kibble kibble kibble…crap! I’m tied down!
I don’t think the guy with the fascinating nuts can see either. If I’m lying on a nice piece of floor, sometimes he’ll step on me! Maybe it’s not such a nice piece of floor after all. He’s also figured out that I don’t like loud noises, so if Carin’s not there to catch me sneaking under the table, he’ll hit the table and then I have to run away! Damn! Foiled again!
Is it wrong to like Spanish people? Carin seems to think it is. There’s this Spanish lady on our floor, and every time I see her, I just gotta have a sniff! Then I get in trouble. Aww, come on! Why can’t I just have a little snifferoo? Please please please!
When we’re out playing on the lawn, I keep looking over at that big place where the kids jump and swim. I wanna go in there too, but Carin doesn’t bring me close enough so I can jump in. It looks so nice! I haven’t swam in forever! This is torture!
I got a new bed a while ago! It came in a giant box. But the weird part about this bed is it smelled like my old mommy from California! Is She coming to see me? Is she in the box too? It’s a big box. Maybe she’d fit. Where is she where is she where is she? I jumped in the bed, wagged my tail as hard as I could, and licked it all over. Now it smells like me, too!
I really really really love going to that place where Carin gets their meat. Lots of interesting people come in there. One guy who was getting a…what was it called…moose-hunting license? Yeah, that’s it. He smelled really interesting. I got in trouble again. I know exactly where the butcher’s counter is. I can lead her to it no problem. You don’t have to ask me twice to go there.
And then there’s the place with all the dogfood. There’s even a dog in there who wants to play with me! Carin, can I play? No? Aww, you’re really no fun!
I’ve noticed something about humans. They’re wimps! If I run into them with my head when we’re playing, especially if I hit them in the face, they say Ouch and rub their face like it hurt. Whatever, I hit them with my face and it didn’t hurt me. They’re just being dramatic about it. Bunch of crybabies. I wonder how long they could take walking on the sidewalk in bare feet. They have to put shoes on. Oo oo, shoes to protect their precious feet. You don’t see me in shoes, do you?
Every day is an interesting day. I never know where we’re going. There are so many choices! Are we taking the bus? Are we going to the store? Maybe we’re going to the place with the dogfood and the fruit and the funny dog who wants to play. Maybe we’re going to the bank. Or maybe it’s the drugstore. Is it The Tim Horton’s? Is it the place with the meat? I don’t know, but as we pass each one, I have to point my nose in its direction to see what she does. Every place is cool. Everybody loves me. It’s too bad I can’t love them back. I wonder where we’re going today!