Rock Bottom

This story starts off pretty boring. Michael Marburger was a successful salesman of medical equipment who then found himself addicted to booze and gambling, and fired from his job. So, to feed his addiction, he started stealing medical equipment. But the only medical equipment he stole was, well, colonoscopes. He would march right into 22 different hospitals in various states pretending to be a salesman or a hospital employee, go straight to the room where the thing was, and snatch it.

Why? Why only them? What the hell? Are they the most expensive piece of medical equipment? Does he have a fascination with them? He must, if he knows exactly where they are in so many places. I mean, if you’re selling all kinds of medical equipment, you don’t have a hope in hell of remembering where each piece is hanging out in each hospital. Did the loan sharks tell him they’d take his debts out of his ass, and that’s what gave him the idea?

either way, he’s going to prison for three years. I’m sure he’ll learn lots about taking it up the butt.

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