Asalt with a Deadly Burger

Last Updated on: 4th January 2016, 12:41 pm

Before our good friend Joe Clark gets all up in arms about my misspelling in the title, I did do it on purpose. I figured I should mention it since he tends to pipe up when homosexuality is discussed, and it’s a stretch, but this story does involve meat between two buns.

This definitely smacks of abuse of power, and what an abuse it was. A McDonalds employee spilled some salt on some hamburger meat. She let her supervisor know, and she and some others tried to get it off. She even ate a salty burger, and it wasn’t that bad. All probably would have been fine until a police officer, Wendell Adams, decided he wanted a burger and got one of the salty ones. Instead of doing the sensible thing of coming back, saying the burger didn’t taste right, and getting another one, he chose to throw the salt-spilling employee in jail for the night on charges of misdemeanor reckless conduct because he says the burger made him sick. He even sent samples of the salty meat away to the state crime lab for testing.

What? So our streets are so safe and we have so little to worry about that we can waste everyone’s time and the state’s valuable resources fussing over a salty burger. If somebody jacked off on the burger, that would be a different thing. But it was a fucking accident! Not a fucking accident…you know what I mean. It was a mistake! And now this poor girl may have a criminal record. I hope to hell not, but if people can go to jail for having prescription drugs that they’ve legally obtained, anything is possible.

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