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This audio-playing vibrator is way too fancy. Let’s count all the accessories.

  • full-function silicone vibrator with interchangeable shafts
  • interchangeable? Ok then.

  • 64 megabytes of Ram with built-in USB port
  • ram? I don’t wanna talk about ram with vibrators. And ports? Oh dear.

  • built-in microphone for voice and sound recording
  • What in the blue christ are they wanting girls to record? And…where is this microphone? I hope it’s nowhere near the, um, essential parts.

  • two pre-recorded audio fantasies
  • Oh boy. This is getting weird. What am I saying? It got weird when they started talking about ram and ports.

  • PC and Mac compatibility
  • I didn’t know there were PC and Mac vaginas.

  • headphones and USB cable

That is way too much technology for a little fun. And it’s way too much money. $99.95? You could probably buy a few pornos for a lot less, and they won’t ever give you the blue screen of death.

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