Out of all the Trixie dreams I’ve had, I think the weirdest ones are the ones where I dream I abandon her. There was the one where I went to Steve’s family for the weekend without her, and another one I had later where I dreamed I left her at home and then suddenly realized she would need to relieve and I wasn’t going to be there in time. I had stopped having dreams like this, and figured I guess I’d gotten over my insecurities about abandoning her, or something. Then, I had another one of these a week or so ago.
I was getting off a plane. I was excited. I was heading to guide dog school. As I waited at baggage claim, I wondered how much of the campus I would remember. Would I remember the twisty obstacle course that led to the buses? What room would I be in? I would be in the retrain wing, that was for sure.
A man showed up and hustled me into a van of some kind. I asked if he had my bags, and he said we would have to come back for them. This didn’t thrill me, but there was nothing I could do.
Some other people were in the van, and they were all saying where they were from. They were talking about their old dogs and how much they missed them. I got thinking about Trixie and how awesome she was, and how it would suck to have to start all over again.
Then, it shot through me. Why was I even here? Trixie and I were doing fine and I’d only had her a few months. Why did I do this?
Seconds later, another realization hit me. I hadn’t made any arrangements for Trixie. She was back here, with Steve, and Steve didn’t know how to relieve her, take her for walks, all that stuff. What was going to happen?
As I started to panic, I woke up wondering what in hell that was. The only thing I can think is I’m on a mailing list full of other people with guide dogs, and a whole bunch of them just got dogs. But that’s wacked! Why do I keep dreaming I’m leaving her somewhere? Do other people with guide dogs dream this stuff? Do new moms dream about leaving their babies behind? Or am I the only one having stupid dreams?
Trixie just wacked me in the knees with her little nose. She knows it’s dinner time. Nope, this dog’s not getting left anywhere.