What An Asscidhole

Ok kids, pop quiz time.

You’re having some work done at your house. The repairman doing the job takes off for the day and leaves a few jugs and bottles full of some kind of strange liquid in your basement when he goes. Do you:
A. Not really think about them because you know he’s coming back in a day or so and probably needs them for something?
B. Give him a call and make sure he knows that he left them in case he needs them for something else and can’t find them now?
C. Uncork one of those bad boys and take a nice healthy slug?

If you said C and you’re entirely serious about that answer, it means you’re an imbecile and it’s a shame you’re somehow still alive. Unfortunately, it also means that
there are others out there just like you.

CHICAGO – A Frankfort, Ill., woman who accidentally drank battery acid in January is suing the man who left it in her home as well as the company that sold it to him. Patricia Gabrysiak needed a new sump pump, so she called an installer and he came and left the pump and some supplies in the basement of her home. He also left a gallon water jug, a liter water container and a bottle with a ginger ale label all filled with battery acid, said the lawsuit filed in Will County Circuit Court. Gabrysiak took a drink from one of the containers not realizing that it was battery acid and had to be taken to a hospital with severe burns, the Chicago Tribune reported. She is now suing repairman J. Brady McCahey, who allegedly left the containers, as well as Master Automotive Supply and Parts Plus Auto Store, which allegedly sold him the acid in unlabeled containers. The acid was to be used for the pump’s battery and was moved out of the basement “by a third party,” said the attorney for the Frankfort repairman.

And now that the reading portion of the assignment is done, it’s time for another quiz.

Should we pass a law stating that if you are not a child under the age of 9 or previously diagnosed as mentally impaired and you do something this mindbogglingly ridiculous, the medical system is no longer obligated to take care of you and the legal system is allowed to ridicule you and can bill you for wasting its time?
A. Yes.
B. Absolutely.
C. You’re damn skippy we should!
D. Fuckin’ right!
E. Only if there’s a provision that allows for sterilization once the case is settled.
F. Only if that sterilization can be done by an angry mob with rusty garden implements.

Answers can be submitted as comments, emails, or silently stewed over while trying to restrain yourself from committing violent acts against your fellow man.

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