This story makes me giggle. I saw it a month ago, but it didn’t push the right buttons then. Today, it does. Sadly, I had to get the link for it out of the google cashe because it has fallen off the original page where it was found. Yea google cache.
It all starts with two dumbasses: one buying drugs and one selling them. Our dumbass buyer, Matthew Dietrich, meets up with the seller, Christopher Kratz, behind a Walgreens. He hands him $500 and gets handed what he thinks is a pound of marijuana. But alass, it is only broccoli, and not even well-disguised broccoli at that!
This pisses him off enough to call 911. But he doesn’t want to say that he was sold drugs that weren’t even drugs, So, he says that he was robbed and roughed up, and gives a description of the car Kratz was driving. Kratz is promptly pulled over and Dietrich identifies him.
As they’re driving to the station, Kratz decides he should tell the police what really happened. I guess he thought selling broccoli wasn’t a crime, so that would be the best thing to do. So he tells them that it was only broccoli. He then finds out that it is in fact a crime to sell something and claim it’s something it isn’t. And Dietrich finds out it’s a crime to call 911 and make false reports. Our two dumbasses both learn something.
This story reminds me of one a friend told me. He was sitting with two people, and they were approached by someone who claimed to be selling cartons of cheap cigarettes from the native reserve nearby. The dumbass in this story thought it would be great to get some, and waited for the salesman to return with the goods. He did, and seemed to be in one hell of a hurry to get the transaction over with and be gone. He ordered that the guy throw the money in a paper bag, quick, because the police were hot on his tail! He handed my friend’s friend the supposed goods, which the poor unfortunate soul found out were nothing more than a couple of phone books. He was going to call the police, but his wife told him to just shut up and accept that he’d been screwed and move on with his life because no good would come of telling the cops he tried to buy illegal smokes and got taken. AT least someone had some sense in the room.
God, some people are dumb. Well, if nothing else, they amuse the rest of us.