>Eastern Standard Time For A Kick In The Nuts

>I nearly committed a homicide this morning. I would have had to take a 7 or 8 hour flight to Europe to do it mind you, but it probably would have been worth it.

It’s 4:45 AM and Carin and I are happily sleeping when suddenly the quiet is shattered by the din of a telephone ringing long distance. In our groggy states we don’t quite make it in time to see what the hell is going on, but the blaring proclamation from the talking caller ID has informed us that the culprit is calling from a number that neither of us recognize. When we finally manage to pick our way through the haze of sleep and the shock of being roused from it, we are greeted by the following:

“Hey guys, it’s me, Douchenozzle. I’ve called you before when I’ve needed to get in touch with Dude Who Used To Live With You. I seem to have lost track of him and was wondering if you’d give me a shout and let me know where he’s at these days. I’ve got a new phone number myself now, so if you could give that to him that’d be great too.”

This is a perfectly reasonable request, but so is the one I’m about to make.

If you need to call somebody far away, before you pick up the phone, for the love of God look at a clock and do some simple math, would ya please? I’m glad that it’s 10 AM where you are and that a new day has begun, but some of us are still trying to sleep off the events of the old one over here!

Seriously, how hard is a concept like a time zone? You live in one place, I live in another one. The sun can’t be with both of us at once so for one of us it’s later or earlier than it is for the other. If the difference adds up to a sufficient number of hours, put down the goddamn phone and watch some TV for a while or something!!

I should probably be used to this by now because my family has relations across the pond who do the same dumb shit sometimes, but it never gets any less rage-inducing.

I think when I call him back I’m going to make sure I do it at about 11 PM our time. Not sure if it’ll teach him anything, but it might make us feel a little better.

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