First, we went to this big restaurant full of food. there was a whole bunch of humans there, and they all seemed to know each other. There were little humans and big humans, young humans and old humans. I think some of them looked like each other. They all ate this big meal, and then Carin took my harness off and let me meet them! Belly rubs! Lots of belly rubs! Some of them had dogs at home. I knew that, and went to them first! I gave one of them a face-wash. He seemed to like it. Some of the little humans were just my height. I think I scared one of them. He didn’t like his face being washed, and I was told to stop.
The next day, Carin started packing some of my things in a box. It was making me nervous. Was she going to give these things away to another dog? I watched that box. I wanted to make sure I saw where it went.
We loaded it up, and we all drove and drove and drove. It was about as long as it took to go to that place we went to back a couple months ago. But at least I recognized it. It was that big house with the cat in it! That cat doesn’t like me! I like the cat, but the cat doesn’t like me, so I keep my distance. I even stay still when it walks by. If I move at all, it runs away. It’s kind of funny, because sometimes I couldn’t care less about the cat. I just want to get my food. But the cat sees me running down the hall and sprints the other way! Silly cat. But she tries to get a look at me. She pokes her head in the door when I’m sleeping and stares at me. I think she’s plotting against me. I’d better watch her.
Then we spent a day at another house. It had a cat too! That cat didn’t like me either. What’s with cats not liking me? But it was a lot of fun. We went to a shopping mall, and met up with some other people for coffee! One of them had a dog with the same harness as me! But I couldn’t play with him right there, even though I wanted to. But I got to play with him later, he came over to the house! Luther is a big dog. A big big dog with a big bark. They started to confuse me. They wanted to hear me bark! But Carin always told me to be quiet! So I barked, but not very loud. And ever since, they didn’t want me to bark again. They didn’t want me to bark when the doorbell rang, when the washing machine started making big noises, when that guy who they know came to the door and hit the door with his foot because his hands were full. Ah, so they don’t want me to bark when I want to warn them of something. They just want me to bark so they can laugh at me. Weird people!
Then we came back to that big house with the cat and spent some more time there. I was starting to wonder if I’d moved there.
Man, humans like to eat, or at least they do right now. They just kept making food, food and food and more food. Yummy food and sweet food and food full of turkey and all kinds of food. It makes me want some! But I can’t have some, and they chase me away. I try to trick them because my water dish is right in the area where they make food. So I try and see if I can find any crumbs on the floor when I’m coming over to get some water.
We did a lot of walking around shopping malls. Shopping malls with food courts where people drop things! Oh the temptations! I spent a lot of time with that gental leader on my face. That stupid gental leader. I wish it had never been invented. I want! it! off! my! nose! But I can’t get it off. Paws won’t do it, I can’t rub my face on Carin or she gets mad. But I want my nose to be free!
Then we met more big humans and little humans. These humans looked more like Carin’s dad, and they all ate some more. Is that all these humans do? Eat?
I’ve figured out a couple of humans are Carin’s brother and sister and they’re not even the same age! She only has one brother and one sister? And none of them were born at the same time? What’s wrong with her mom? I had four brothers and three sisters and we all have the same birthday! I wonder where my brothers and sisters are now.
Eventually, all the humans started going their own way, and we loaded up the box and got back in the car and drove and drove and drove…and ended up back here! Yeah! Home again! We didn’t move to that house with the cat! I was so happy, I ran ran ran around the house and bounced and played with some bones I hadn’t seen for a while.
But then, the house was full of strange people! There were a couple of humans who I knew from before. But then there were others I didn’t know. They made lots of noise and stayed up for a long time. A lot of them couldn’t see where they were going, so I learned to go to my bed after I’d sniffed them all and they’d petted me enough. When some of them slept, they slept on beds on the floor, and if I walked up to them very quietly, I could maybe sneak a lick without getting busted. Wow! Sleeping humans at my level! That’s new!
I was just starting to wonder if life was ever going to be normal again. Or, was this the new normal? I had to admit It was fun. It wasn’t really bad. Then, all the people left, and it was just me, Carin, and the fat man with the nice balls. Ah, I think it’s over. What a time that was!