>Here’s another one for the bongo drum teddy bear shrine home-invasion files.
Imagine this. You’re sleeping on the couch, hooked up to a machine giving you oxygen while you sleep. Suddenly, you’re awakened by a 27-year-old woman wearing only a shirt and underwear screaming “We’re going to egypt” as she tries to strangle you. Your six-foot son wrestles the five-foot attacker off you, but manages to get his nose broken and his wrist dislocated before police arrive and take her, Jennifer Marie Wojack, away. He slugged her once during the confrontation, at which point she screamed “Give me more daddy, I like it, I like it.” Wouldn’t that be a rude awakening?
The weirdest part of this story is the way it ends. Wojack doesn’t remember it, and there’s no note about Wojack having mental health issues or anything. She doesn’t even have a police record! Well, she does now.