I know you haven’t been here as long as I have, but you’ve been here a long time. I remember when you were just a wee puppy and liked to jump at me when I was out on my long long long long leash that goes in and out, in and out. Why is it that lots of times when I come out to do my business, you act like you’ve never seen me before? Why do you bellow at me? I always come out at the same times. Sure, I come out for some extra times, but the times you stand out there and go “roo rrroooo roorroorrroorrerrrooroooo!” are the times when I always come out. Why do you act so surprised to see me? Do you not remember things from day to day? It must be so confusing for you, not knowing when you get fed, when you go to sleep, when anything happens. When you were small, did you go shukh shukh shukh flop flop on the floor on your head too hard and the stuff inside there broke? Is that why you can’t remember things?
I hope at some point you will remember me, and stop screaming at me when I’m trying to pee. It’s really hard to let myself pee and poop when you’re standing over there yelling obsenities at me! I have no problem with you. Can’t we be friends?