Today’s The Day The Teddy Bears Hump Their Picnic

Ever since
that poor bastard in the UK found himself on the sex offender registry for having relations with a bike,
Carin and I have had this odd fascination with stories about people humping stuff. It’s not that we’re looking for pointers or anything, it’s more about what will and won’t get you labeled a pervert in the eyes of the government. Well ok, that and stories about people humping things are funny, who are we kidding?

Anywho, I ran across another one this morning, and a dandy it is.

Ohio resident Arthur Price Jr. has been charged with 4 counts of public indecency after an anonymous informant provided 3 DVDs to police showing Price
having sex with his picnic table.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Yeah, definitely indecent, but you’ve got to at least give him credit for cleaning up after himself. It’s good when people take pride in their homes.

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