Come Here Dumb Human. Quiet! Good Quiet.

Whenever I think about this, it makes me mad, not in the oh the world sucks kind of way, but in the holy shit some people can be irritating as hell kind of way. Hopefully when I write it down, it will make sense why it makes me mad.

This happened yesterday at around noon. I took Trixie out for her usual business routine. She peed, and just as she was finishing peeing, a lady came out to have a smoke. After Trixie was done peeing, she started sniffing around. This is normal, because if she had to poop, the sniffing helps get things in motion. From across the parking lot, the lady yelled, “Oh she’s just nosing around. She’s not doing anything. Oh come on Trixie, let’s go.”

Pardon? First of all, if you want to have a normal conversation with your average human being, you don’t get out a megaphone. You come closer, so you can talk at a reasonable level. Second of all, when did she think it was her place to call and command my dog? Would it be normal to even do that with a pet dog from half way across a parking lot? No. If the dog took an interest in coming to you, you’d turn their owner into a goddamn projectile. I will decide when it’s time for my dog to go, thank you very much.

then, of course when Trixie didn’t move, she was shocked and appalled! “Don’t you want to come inside?” she bellowed. I told her I would come in a second. Just then, she looked and noticed I was putting on the harness. “oh yeah, that,” she said. Yeah, that. She didn’t have that on before. That comes off when she takes a pee. That goes back on before I start moving. The reason she has that is because she is a working fucking dog.

Arg. I know this is just one lady, and she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but good lordy lou. It makes me think of the countless times people try to call my dog and make kissy noises at her and expect she’ll just listen to them. It’s especially bad when I’m trying to get her to follow them. People stop talking to me and start talking to the dog as if I’m just along for the ride. NO. Talk to me. Dont’ call my dog, don’t command her. Talk to *me*! People are usually pretty good about stopping that when I say I don’t want her to start responding to random people who call out to her. that would be disastrous! Everywhere I go, I hear kids going “puppy puppy puppy!” If she started responding to that, I’d be doomed!

So, if you ever get the urge to yell “come here!” at a guide dog, just don’t, ok? Offer the person help if you want, talk to the person. But don’t call the dog. Please please pretty please. Is that too much to ask?

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