Lessons You Shouldn’t Need To Learn

Bonnie Ashley says she wasn’t dumb, she was desperate when she got married 11 times, each ending in divorce, and the last three marriages/divorces were with the same man. But I can’t help but disagree with her. Let’s look at a few choice quotes from the desperate woman herself.

“I was desperate, not dumb,” Ashley says. “I was taught that a man took care of you. So each time I didn’t have one, I heard, ‘Old Maid!’ “That’s what my dad called any single woman over 25.”

And that’s not dumb? How about

She’ll never marry again, she says. “I’ll sleep around, but that’s all.”

Or

“Here’s why women should read my book,” she says. “So they understand what can happen if you marry someone you really don’t know.” It’s a lesson she recently learned.

I’ve got news for ya. The smarter of us already learned this lesson long ago. And the not so smart won’t learn from reading your book, if they read it.

I haven’t hit the bottom of the stupidity barrel. There’s

Even after the 11 marriages and divorces, she asked this last guy (the one she kicked out of the house two weeks ago) to ask her to marry him. She did this only a few weeks after they met. He refused. With your track record, he told her, I’d have to know you for a long time. “It was such a rude awakening,” she says. He moved in for a while, moved out, then came back until she finally kicked him out. “Someone had to force me to learn how not to want to get married,” she says.

Ya don’t say! And here’s the final pearl of…what? Idiocy? Yeah.

“The only difference now is I don’t want to be married just to be married,” she says. “I need to get to know you first.”

Well I should hope so. Welcome aboard the train of logic. You’re only 32 years too late.

You can tell the reporter doesn’t think too much of her, or is completely aghast at the jaw-dropping stupidity before him. I know I am. It’s pretty spectacular when someone is so stupid that she doesn’t even know she’s stupid and wants to write a book revealing detailed accounts of her stupidity. But maybe she’ll end up just like William Topaz McGonagall and people will love her to death.

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