I Think I’d Rather Be Humped

Police Blotter newspaper columns are some of the most entertaining and confusing things you’ll ever read, often leaving you with more questions than answers.
One example of this springs immediately to mind,
and now
here’s another one
out of what appears to be Lake Park, Florida, though
Small Town Misfit
is claiming Palm Beach.

On Monday, May 19, a man parked his car for repair at the Earl Stewart Toyota dealership in the southwest corner of the lot, and left his keys with the service department.  Deputies later found his car on fire at 549 Merrinac Terrace.

First I’ll ask the obvious question. What the…? Now I’ll ask the other ones. To anybody who knows the area, how far apart are these 2 locations? To anybody familiar with the story, what happened next? Is somebody getting fired (pun intended)? How much of a piece of shit was this car before the blaze? Was whoever did this trying to help the guy out by torching it for the insurance money? Or maybe we need to look at this another way. Given all the stories of vehicular molestation we’ve had up here in the last little while, was somebody trying to get over a bad relationship by taking his anger out on the next car he saw?

Anybody with answers, I’d love it if you’d leave a comment or click on my name and send me an email. A mystery needs solving here, so help a brother out.

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