Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…

That’s a new one. Is it good enough to belong in the oompa loompas/Egypt-obsessed stranglers/drunken stuffed dog-screwers/teddy-bear plant stand shrines files? I’m not sure, but it’s weird.

Picture this old guy in a convenience store buying some stuff. As he leaves, he gets ker smucked in the shoulder by a random yellow bag. It happens again, and again, and again. He leaves the store, and it keeps happening. He returns to the store with the person in tow who is slinging the random bag, who now stands beside him shaking the bag and screaming “Hi yuh!” The store folk call the police, who come and get Michael Farquer, the offender. What was he swinging at the old man? A box of Moon Pies!

Is the funniest part of the story the fact that Farquer was swinging a box of Moon Pies, or the fact that he’s been arrested for something similar before? I can’t decide.

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