Attention All Future Psychotherapists, Psychologists and Psychiatrists

Meet Sasha Bennington. She is going to need a lot of help once she grows up and maybe her modeling career doesn’t pan out. She will realize that she was used by her completely psycho mother, Jane, to live out her dreams of becoming a model vicariously through her little girl. Jane has claimed that being enrolled in all of these padgents, being made up so she looks 18 and having all sorts of things done to her hair, nails and eyelashes is what Sasha wants, but Sasha herself says “who needs brains when you’re pretty,” so how can these be *her* thoughts?

She’ll probably be spoiled as all hell because she got presents like swimming pools when she was a kid. She’ll also wonder what it’s like to truly have a father around because hers does jack squat to raise her, saying he just lets Jane do it all. Add to her pile of issues a lot of emotional scars for being forced to perform cheerleading acts in restaurants and bus stops in the hopes that Andrew Lloyd Weber might just happen to walk by and see her.

Yes, Sasha Bennington is going to make some therapist very rich down the road. By the looks of it, her mother should already be handing over some pretty substantial dough.

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